Are you an egoist???Good day, Alexey Karev is with you again. Today I want to talk to you about selfishness. When we hear the word “egoist,” our brain instantly draws a picture of a kind of curmudgeon - an old man with a long hook-shaped nose, with a slight hump, in baggy clothes, who is in fact immensely rich and powerful over the people around him. Or the second option: a moderately young dandy, a dandy, brazenly using close and not so close people, putting his own interest and personality at the forefront. In principle, it could be a lady (girl, girl, woman), this will not change the essence of the image, but on a male figure it seems more likely. Let's take a little look at where this “selfishness” comes from and why some become selfish and others do not. I think that many psychologists will agree with me that selfishness comes from childhood. There is a period in the life of each of us when the whole world around us is only for us, moreover, the whole world around us is ourselves, and we are wizards and sorcerers in it, commanding huge giants with just a cry, who feed us, wash us and please us in every possible way . If we are not satisfied, we scream and demand that the “world” in some magical way recognize our need and satisfy it. At the same time, we can grab our mother’s hair with delight and cheerfully pinch our father, they are part of us, and since we do not feel pain or other irritating sensations from our actions, then everything is in order. As you understand, we are talking about the first year of life. The task of parents during this period is to be able to gradually, through loving deprivations (I mean not excessive), make it clear that the child is a separate being, and that others’ perceptions of the world may be different. If they succeed, then the child, undoubtedly upset, accepts his separateness and he, most likely, will no longer become an egoist. If the parents fail to do this or partially succeed, which happens much more often, selfish tendencies may take place in the future... But this is all theory. How is it really? In fact, it is worth recognizing that one way or another we all love (or think so) ourselves a little more than others. How to be? It’s simple, we have two ways: first, we can continue to behave as we did in childhood, stamping our feet and wanting everyone to dance around us; and second, we can begin to do pleasant and useful things for others, receiving benefits. Here's how it works. Instead of asking your wife to cook your favorite dish, you can make her favorite dish yourself. Instead of constantly driving your children away from you while you are sitting at the computer, you can give them time, play, take a walk, and be together. This is possible in any field. This also applies to sex. People will “revenge” you with pleasure, doing what you need and pleasing you. This is how you will get both the free time you want and the pleasures you want. Life is as simple as an orange! If you do something nice for someone, they do something nice in return! Well, so, is it bad to be such an egoist? See you on the pages of articles and life. Sincerely, Alexey Karev. http://www.irk-psiholog.ru