How do you destroy a happy future for your child? Very simple. You continue to stay in a marriage where you feel unbearably bad. Let you shout at each other every evening. So what if love and respect are long gone, and your life has turned into mutual destruction. The main thing is don't get divorced. Do you think it doesn’t hurt your child to see dad yelling at mom? Or how mom nags and humiliates dad? And then also answer the question: “Who do you love more?” Hurt. Or hear from mom: “Dad behaves this way because he doesn’t love us,” and from dad: “Mom clings to us all and forces me to leave.” It hurts too. But the child cannot do anything about it. He simply looks with childish eyes at your relationship, in which there is nothing left but devaluation, hatred and claims. He watches and takes it all on faith, because children do not know how to filter the actions of their parents. The relationship between mom and dad is the standard and the norm, even if in fact there is nothing normal left. 15-20 years will pass, your son or daughter will grow up. And his or her consciousness will be thoroughly saturated with the fact that family is always swearing, quarrels and broken plates. With a 99% probability, he or she will repeat your patterns of behavior in relationships one to one. Do you know what will happen next? If your child starts a family, his marriage will be doomed. It doesn’t matter whether he chooses as a partner a person with the same traumas of the “ideal relationship between parents” or not. He will behave the same way you behaved. And your grandchildren will grow up with a similar model of behavior before their eyes. This will continue the cycle of degeneration of communication of your kind. And it can go on forever. Are you sure you want this? No? Then you have three options for what to do next. The first is to get a divorce. If you understand that your marriage is dead and there is no point in resuscitating it, it is better to separate and try to preserve the child’s psyche. This way you will limit him from destruction and feelings of guilt, because this is exactly how he feels - guilty of what is happening between his parents. . There is no need to suffer yourself and make everyone around you suffer because of the attitude of “tolerate for the sake of the children.” Yes, parental divorce is always traumatic for a child. But here you choose the lesser of two evils and give your son or daughter a chance to see a harmonious relationship between parents, even if not with each other. The second is to work to improve the situation with your spouse. But only if you are both ready for this and sincerely want to return the relationship to harmony, love and mutual understanding. Believe me, this is possible even if you are already on the verge of divorce. Dozens of newly happy couples, for whom therapy was their last hope, fluttered out of my office. The third is to continue to conflict, but not to do it in front of the children. There are families in which the communication style itself is militant. But you need to understand that this is a half-measure and it is better to find the reason why you communicate only in this format. Remember that you are responsible for how your children turn out. They subconsciously see you as an authority and it is you who plant ideals in their minds.