Good afternoon, my dear readers! Today I want to talk about the child.... about the inner child... People often come to me for consultation with the following picture.... any remark, even the most innocent one, causes them a storm of emotions, often they observe acute and an ongoing feeling of sadness that cannot be explained by events or circumstances, they have an all-consuming need for recognition or protection, etc. All these are manifestations of their inner child - that part of a person that has not matured and that expresses its needs all the more persistently as less listened to in the past. This child embodies the foundations of our being, everything that has not been erased from our childhood - fears, traumas, anger, joys and desires. And today I would like to talk a little about how I work with such clients .... Of course, this is a small fraction, but, it seems to me, very clear... When starting to work with such clients, I often first give them the opportunity to speak out, complain, cry, and only after that approach the real problem of therapy. Often I ask the client to imagine that he has a small child in his arms... I explain that this is His inner child, this is His most childish part. And this is where sometimes the most interesting thing begins... often clients describe this child in a completely unflattering way... They have him as black, disgusting, dirty, unhappy... and people don’t even want to look at him... or it’s too dark, or it is wrapped in some rags, but in any case it is not visible... In such cases, I always ask you to unwrap it, turn on the light, etc... How difficult and unpleasant it can be for clients to see this creature... to my offer to wash the child, dress him, cuddle him, feed him... clients rarely immediately respond with consent.... more often they try to find a lot of reasons why this is impossible... to the point that the child is already already not a tenant, and nothing will help him. But if the client continues to hold the child in his arms, talk about him, peer into his features, feel him... then gradually he develops compassion for the child, sympathy, the parental instinct awakens to protect, hug, accept, even if you don’t like the child himself yet... The next step in accepting a child is dialogue with him... I ask the client to talk to the child himself, tell him that he is still the best, that he is sorry that I didn’t love him before, that I will learn to love him... And you know... at first people start saying this or even just repeating all these words after me reluctantly, without feelings and desire... but... in the course of this work Tears subside, fear and horror pass, a smile appears.... slow acceptance, understanding, feeling begins... the slow recovery of a person who has experienced early trauma begins. The client begins to gradually and slowly learn to love himself, the place of auto-aggression gives way to an adequate attitude towards himself and his needs. Yes, this process is not quick and not easy, but... it is a life process that gives the right to a free, adult, full, happy life! Of course, if clients who see a child... someone small and defenseless... .someone is already an adult and independent, but they see. For some, this child evokes sympathy, for others, fear or irritation.... there are a lot of options, as well as methods of work.... today I showed only one of the options. In addition, I want to say that when the inner child takes power over us, we are controlled by the need to be loved, recognized, hugged, listened to. When he takes his rightful place, when his needs are listened to and satisfied, we act on the basis of our desires, we have the opportunity to make choices, our choices. In the case where the client received early trauma in childhood, for example from his parents, it is difficult for him to bear a feeling of hatred towards the beloved parent, so he “identifies with the “good” parent, and through the process of “identification with the aggressor”, the child accepts the parent’s aggression into his.