In the last article, I shared my experience of getting rid of a specific phobia - the fear of wasps. But the list of my past neuroses is not limited to this. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) can manifest itself differently in everyone. But the mechanism is always the same: 1. The emergence of an unpleasant obsessive thought (or image); 2. Anxiety and desire to get rid of thoughts; 3. Reproduction of a ritual that “eliminates the consequences” of a thought. In my case, the first symptoms of OCD appeared at the age of nine. Unpleasant images began to visit me. Mostly about me doing something inappropriate. Something that I myself would never have done. For example, I could for no reason come up with an image of me committing outrages on the graves of my still living (!) close relatives. A terrible image for a child. He was taught to be polite towards elders, but he imagines such “disgusting” things. And it was really creepy. I didn’t understand why such a thought came to my mind, but I knew for sure that I shouldn’t have such thoughts. As a result, “eliminating” rituals arose. Many people with OCD believe that thoughts can change reality. And that is why it is important to “not think dirty thoughts.” And so that the image in my head would not come true, I began to sharply close my eyes and open them only at the moment when the “unacceptable” image was replaced by another. And then he abruptly began to continue his activities. For example, if I did the math work “before the image,” I opened my eyes and immediately continued solving equations. It was as if I were “cutting out” a fragment from my life when I closed my eyes. And if this fragment “didn’t happen,” then nothing bad will happen. Of course, the further it went, the more often this happened. And such rituals began to interfere. They were distracting and time-consuming. And instead of half an hour on PD, I spent an hour. A good psychotherapist would have led me to the understanding that: 🔸 absolutely all people have such thoughts and this is normal; 🔸 these thoughts are not capable of influencing reality; 🔸 there is no need to try to suppress them, but , on the contrary, let them flow freely and then they will go away on their own. But I didn’t have a psychotherapist then. And, logically, if I continued my attempts to suppress these thoughts and constantly reproduced my ritual, my condition should only get worse. But by some miracle, I myself came to understand the above provisions. I was simply tired of trying to avoid these images. Living with attempts to “eliminate” them by closing your eyes was even worse than just living with these images. And subsequently, when unpleasant images came to me again, I no longer tried to get rid of them and continued to engage in my activities. Although sometimes, of course, I lost my temper. But in the end, I randomly interrupted the protective behavior and learned to treat thoughts as, excuse me, thoughts. However, this was not the end of my story with OCD. I dealt with the obsessions and got rid of the corresponding compulsions. But other compulsions appeared. And a lot at once. About them - in the second part.