There is nothing superfluous or random in our psyche. Everyone has an Inner Critic. A critical attitude towards something is completely justified, because without it it is easy to get into a dangerous situation. However, it often happens that the Critic, instead of being our ally, becomes our enemy. One may get the feeling that he does not want to help us, but, on the contrary, to destroy us. Or hide it. Imprisoned in a dungeon. This happens when he gains too much power. And our ego is subordinate to him. If the ego (our Self) is immature, it is difficult for him to resist the Critic, because Most often, it is easy to detect parental notes in the Critic’s voice. Sometimes he even speaks in the words of his parents or significant adult. The immature ego, like a child, is forced to obey, and in the worst case, to believe that what this critical adult says is true. Only an adult and mature ego can resist its attacks. If the Critic even decides to attack such an ego. Working with the Critic can come from two sides - indirectly, when the emphasis is exclusively on the growth of the Self, and directly - when we act directly on the Critic. And if the first is a long process (often working with a psychologist), then the second can be done independently in order to at least somehow reduce its pressure on the ego. To start working with a Critic, you must first discover it in yourself. I will describe several situations in which he manifests himself. Attack on himself. It doesn’t matter what exactly it concerns: appearance, behavior, level of intelligence, social status. The critic often uses insults: “What an ugly thing!”, “Stupid”, “Weakling”, “Fat”, “Loser”, “Nothing”, etc., but there may also be less expressive expressions and phrases: “Where are you going?” are you climbing?”, “Where are you, and where are they?”, “Have you seen yourself in the mirror?”, “Nobody needs you” Devaluation of your achievements. “It could have been better”, “Just think, I didn’t do anything special, everyone can do this.” The bar is rising higher and higher and the Critic is never happy. This is similar to the situation when parents ask a child who received a B: “Why not an A?” Or an even more sophisticated option, when a child brings an A, and they say to him: “Why not an A plus?” Whatever a person achieves, it always seems insufficient to the Critic. And the person believes him. Comparing himself with others who seem to have achieved more. This is not just competition or competition. A person compares himself with others to prove to himself how insignificant he is. As if there are only two states: successful success and failure. The thought always flashes somewhere: “if someone did something better than me, then I lost, I found myself at the very bottom, I am a complete bottom.” Instead of supporting yourself in case of failures, an even greater attack. To definitely not do this again. Keep your head down. Often accompanied by a huge feeling of shame, which you don’t want to experience again, and therefore don’t want to manifest yourself again. Projection of failure into the future. There is a risk of failure in the future. And this is precisely what the Critic insists is most likely to happen. It is failure that the fragile ego tries to avoid, so it is better not to even begin to act. Projecting the Critic onto others. It can come in two forms. I'll show you with an example. It is necessary to give a report or speech in front of an audience. Or post your work on Instagram*. And when you think about it, it becomes scary, because... it seems that “others” will definitely criticize and say how terrible it is. So it’s better not to embarrass yourself and not post anything, and if you can’t avoid this event, then the fear of the audience simply goes off scale. Another option is when we hear criticism and condemnation in the words of others, although in reality there is none. The problem with detecting this manifestation is that if the one who is supposedly criticizing begins to make excuses and say that he did not do it, the Critic can accuse him of gaslighting or lying. Real criticism is from the outside. Especially if this criticism is excessive. If we deny and do not see the critic in ourselves, we assume his function.