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I'm not a robot

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Privacy - Terms

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Do you know what the most common praise parents give? WELL DONE! This is a word for all occasions for all ages. Did you eat all the soup? Well done! Did you say hello to grandma? Well done! Swept the floor? Well done! Washed the dishes? Well done! Did you draw a picture? Well done! Got an A? Well done! And so on ad infinitum. The child, of course, wants to be praised. This is a normal desire of every person. This is a manifestation of the need for acceptance and approval. But what happens to a child when we adults limit ourselves to just one word? It turns out that the child is either “well done” or “not well done.” There is no third. And then the child needs to make sure that he is doing well. And he does it. Quite regularly. A child, having made an appliqué or done some training, asks: “Am I doing well now?” Having received an affirmative answer, the baby, satisfied, runs away. After some time, he will again ask the same question regarding another action or deed. Gradually, the word that was used for praise becomes a weed word. With its help, parents sometimes seem to brush off the child. “You’re young, well done,” parents say, sometimes not even paying attention to the subject of the conversation. Maybe let's take a closer look at ourselves, dear parents? Isn't this word heard too often in our vocabulary? Have we devalued it? Let's use it a little less often, replacing it with more meaningful praise. How? Very simple. For example, let’s reformulate the child’s actions described in the first paragraph and, accordingly, the parents’ comments. Did you eat all the soup? – What a clean plate! Did you say hello to grandma? – You’re a polite girl. Did you sweep the floor? – Thanks for your help. Did you wash the dishes? – You helped me a lot, thank you. Did you draw a picture? – Great job! Did you get an A? – It’s obvious that you worked out well today. The faceless word “well done” is easily transformed into meaningful praise, which reflects what exactly the child did and how his actions benefited others. Such praise is much more valuable than just “well done” said by a parent.

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