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I'm not a robot

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The most ordinary young woman, living an ordinary family life, one day, experiencing another crisis, came to the conclusion that “something is wrong.” Living day after day, enduring the dullness of her existence , she realized that it was time to change something... One day, very angry, she remembered that her life had recently been different - full of joy and love. Love for life and love for herself. But, after a while, she didn’t even notice how her happy life ended...Dear readers, we are finishing the story of our client, which we began a couple of weeks ago. Our heroine has come a long way from a Cinderella mired in the world of “everyday life” to a clear understanding of the fact that she has lived for many years in devaluation and ignoring her needs and desires. Many events have passed, therefore, in order to better understand the situation, it is better to start getting acquainted with the story from the very beginning. And the fact of understanding the problem was the first step to changing her life for the better. It is worth saying that there are thousands of such stories, and over 11 years of my own psychological practice, I have conducted therapy with several hundred women with a similar fate. Let's take a closer look at this problem and get acquainted with its solution. Usually this problem is felt as dissatisfaction with oneself and is similar to classic low self-esteem. However, there is a basic feeling attached here insecurity and discomfort. There is also a systematic violation of a woman’s personal boundaries and ignoring her requests and needs, including the most banal. Usually a woman describes such cases of ignoring as “Becoming invisible.” A woman’s life ceases to belong to herself, and she spends all her time and resources on neighbors, family and even third-party people, unable to refuse or express a claim. Investing all of herself, she does not receive the proper return in the form of reciprocal care and attention, since there is a false opinion that everything a woman does is necessary, obligatory and does not require reward, boasting, reciprocal attention and care, and even a banal “thank you.” Over many years of working with similar conditions, I came to the conclusion that there is a whole complex of problems here, which I called “Low Female Value.” This complex includes everything the above - from low self-esteem to violation of boundaries and the wrong scenario of family life, which we inherit from our parents and grandparents. I have developed a fairly simple and effective model of work aimed at solving basic, root problems: Usually after clarifying all the “complaints” and clarifications, I begin by letting go of all the negative emotions that have accumulated over many years. These are emotions of experiencing discomfort, resentment, conflicts and personal dissatisfaction, which are not just unpleasant, but also lead to a chronic state of tension and stress, as well as to the appearance of chronic diseases (psychosomatics ). Without “draining” these long-term emotions, it will be impossible to move on and solve fundamental problems. When the head and body are freed from accumulated emotions, then we begin work with letting go of negative connections. These are the same negative family scenarios and the consequences of the harmful educational work of adults, who did not deliberately put negative patterns of behavior into the heads of little girls. It is worth noting that the parents are not to blame - this was not always done with malicious intent, but usually out of ignorance of other options. Usually in this part of the work I carry out the technique of “separation” from parents, with the goal of canceling the “parental program” and choosing your own independent path. The next stage is working with the construction of personal boundaries. Building new boundaries for communication - respectful and sensitive. The ability not only to say “no”, but also learn to recognize manipulative actions from the outside and respond in a timely manner .Working with the construction of boundaries is also working with codependency - when the lives and personal space of loved ones are woven into a single tangle, which only adds to the problems. Finally, if a woman is in :)

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