I'm not a robot

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I'm not a robot

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Every day we play “cinema” in our heads. Some people show themselves pictures of the past, about their own bad actions, choices, decisions. Someone is watching “a cinema of the present, about how miserable and terrible life is now. And someone tells themselves how something terrible will happen in the future and they won’t be able to cope with it. Today we will focus on the “cinema” of the future. When we tell ourselves what will happen in the future, we build expectations. Expectations can be both positive and negative. If we tell ourselves that everything will be good and wonderful in the future. For example, a girl tells herself how she will marry her boyfriend, how she will have children with him, and how they will live outside the city in their own house. It seems like a beautiful picture, what’s there to suffer about? The suffering begins when her expectations begin to be shattered. You can’t buy/build a house, you can’t give birth to a child, your boyfriend won’t marry you, or even worse, he’ll leave you. Here’s a brief instruction on how to create depression for yourself - draw a picture of your future, see yourself only through the prism of this picture, and then face reality , where all this is missing. Take away the future from yourself. Or, on the contrary, imagine a catastrophe. That in the future everything will be bad and terrible, that you will not cope with problems, etc. Then you suffer in the present. The brain doesn't care what's actually happening. Do you have problems now or are you thinking about future problems? They are perceived the same. If you tell yourself how bad you will feel in the future, you feel anxious in the present. Moreover, in the present there may not be a threat. “What if...”, “what if...”. They created a problem for themselves out of nothing. Both of these visions of the future are one-sided. The outcome of events is either good or bad. Either you will be happy and everything will be great, or you will be broken and depressed. But in reality, there are only 2 options? There are actually a lot of options, but you cut them off for yourself when you build expectations. I would compare the options with a gradient. There are options from the most negative to the most positive. And between them are halftones. Each point on this gradient is an option. Well, okay, we realized that the future is unknown to us. There are many combinations of what it will be. But does this relieve anxiety? Of course not! Just because the probability of a certain event occurring in the head has decreased, it does not become zero. Our anxiety depends on two indicators: the belief that this scenario will definitely occur and the assessment of our abilities to cope with it. Accordingly. The less I believe that a negative scenario will happen, the more anxious I will be about the future. Or vice versa. The more I believed that everything would be fine, the more pain I would feel if it didn't. The more tools I have to cope with difficulties, the calmer I will be. Let's start working on the first part. Take a situation that is bothering you right now. Write down as many possible outcomes as possible - at least 10. From the worst to the best. For convenience, we can imagine a scale -5_0_+5-5: panic-4: severe anxiety.-3: mild anxiety.-2: irritation.-1: bad mood.0: normal mood, neutral+1: normal mood.+2 : good mood.+3: much better mood than usual.+4: excellent mood.+5: happinessAnd now for each option, put the percentage of faith in its fulfillment. 100% - definitely will happen, 0% - definitely won't happen. If you find it difficult to estimate, you can use mathematical laws. The law of normal distribution states that the most likely outcome will be in intermediate values, and the least likely in extreme values. When you understand that the most likely outcome is not as terrible as you imagined, it will become easier for you. Most often, it is the intermediate options that occur. Here, your anxiety could have decreased significantly, but most likely not completely. Next we move into resource assessment. How can I deal with this? Write down the resources you have: money, real estate, experience,.

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