From time to time, young women aged 25 to 35 come to me for help with the same type of request. It can be briefly formulated as follows: “all my friends have been married for a long time, and I’m still alone, I want to get married, but no one offers.” Usually I start working with a client by clarifying her desires at the level: “I want to get married” or “I want to become a wife.” Some clients, in their answers to questions, show an inner desire to take care of someone, to be there in difficult times, to support, to spend time together, to have children, etc. Reasoning in such categories, the young woman shows that her inner desire is connected with taking on the role of a wife. The other part of the clients respond to my question with theses: I want a wedding, a white veil, gifts, a holiday, I want to be like all my friends - married, I’m already 30, it’s time to get married... The desire of such clients is not connected at all with taking on the role of a wife, but with acquiring the status of a “married woman”. At the same time, starting to find out from them what will happen next, after the wedding, how she sees her life, what will change in it, what will appear new, women, as a rule, do not mention anything related to the role of a wife. When consulting already married clients who express dissatisfaction marriage, I often come across the fact that they got married precisely based on the desire to acquire the status of a married woman. Family life itself became burdensome for them. They felt disappointed not so much in the man or the relationship with him, but in the fact that now they need to fulfill the role of a wife, which they did not strive to accept. By the way, among the women dissatisfied with marriage are those who set themselves the goal of “ marry this man." In other words, their goal was to get a very specific person as their husband. Having achieved what they wanted, they seemed to lose motivation and purpose. Women who married for status experience the first family crisis of 2-3 years of marriage quite acutely. The main reason for this heightened experience seems to me to be that they never had the inner desire to accept the role of a wife. Being a wife does not come down to sleeping with the man you love in the same bed every night. Being a wife means taking care of him every day, seeing him not only joyful and happy, but also sad, tired, apathetic, etc. Being a wife means supporting your husband in difficult times, and not just having fun and having fun. Being a wife means spending previously free time on household chores. Being a wife means putting your interests and desires into the background, giving priority to the general interests of the family. This means concentrating responsibly on common family goals, on organizing a common life. In other words, wanting to “get married” and “become a wife” are two completely different decisions. Therefore, if you have been offered an offer or want to receive one, look inside yourself first. Ask yourself the question “What do I really want? Do I just want to get married or do I want to become this man’s wife?” To be fair, it is worth noting that all of the above is also true for men. Make informed and informed decisions. Your life is your decisions. Your decisions are your life. Be happy! If you need my help, please contact me. I will be glad to help. You can sign up for a consultation with me here https://www.b17.ru/svetlana-komarova/#main