From the author: An article about how not to run away from yourself and your happiness. Do you know how many people are afraid of close relationships? Whether it’s friendship or love, fear says: “Don’t trust, they will definitely deceive you!” Where does this fear come from? The fact is, all of us have been in relationships that were disappointing. It could be betrayal, indifference, misunderstanding, rejection, devaluation, etc. Very often, a child experiences this already in a relationship with his parents. Are you surprised? Do you think that parents never betray or abandon? It happens in different ways, of course, but basically, of course, you are right: parents do not betray! But... Let's take a moment to look at the world of relationships through the eyes of a child. Here's the situation: the mother brought the child to the nursery at 2 years old and left him there. Wouldn't he feel betrayed by his most beloved person - his mother? Will he not feel universal sadness and abandonment in this situation? How he will feel and feel it! Although objectively his mother did not betray him. Why does a child perceive the situation this way? Firstly, due to his age and limited thinking by what he sees. He is not yet able to abstract himself from the situation and imagine that his mother is not gone forever. And he was sent to a nursery not because he is bad, but because his mother just needs to earn money and go to work. Secondly, a small child does not yet have a sense of time. A minute seems like an eternity, and the mother’s promise: “I’ll be back soon” is an empty phrase. Thirdly, a huge fear arises that the child is not needed - attachment is broken and trust in the mother, and therefore in the world, disappears. For a child, the mother is the whole world. Fourthly, an orientation is formed towards “adjusting” to others, “earning” praise and the fear of expressing one’s needs and desires, since it outweighs the need to “be good so as not to be abandoned.” Often parents reinforce these destructive consequences of trauma, saying: “If you behave badly, I’ll leave you in kindergarten, give it to your aunt, to an orphanage” ... and similar variations of playing on fear. So, the child, growing up, transfers this fear to relationships. another person comes closer to us, the more terrible it becomes that he will betray and we... run away. We run away from the childhood fear of betrayal and abandonment, but at the same time we run away from LOVE, intimacy, mutual understanding, spiritual happiness, deep communication with another person. And then comes sadness and depression, disappointment in people and the conclusion that confirms the old trauma: “You can’t trust anyone!” What is the result? Life alone, at best, with a couple of dogs and cats, with whom, it seems, you are insured. from betrayal and abandonment... This is a sad article. But there is a way out! You just need to “work through” that “nursery” trauma and look at the world with a new look. This is doable! I wish everyone fresh views, trust and love!