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What happens to a person when he is offended, how to cope and why is it important? And immediately about why it is important. When we are in a state of resentment, the likelihood of psychosomatic manifestations increases (problems with the thyroid gland, cardiovascular diseases, inflammatory processes, asthma, oncology). In fact, the feeling is resentment, the way we experience some event that seems unfair to us , offensive when expectations do not coincide with reality. A person in “offense” cannot accept other people, agree with their choices, tries to turn the situation in his favor. The feeling of resentment is an immature feeling, comes to children aged 2-5 years and is a manipulative method of influencing significant loved ones and relatives. An offensive situation is a reason to activate feelings of resentment, but whether this feeling is activated or not depends on the upbringing and moral qualities of the person. In adulthood, many people understand that this is an unconstructive, inadequate solution to the issue, And yet, not everyone goes through the stages of growing up. If a person considers himself mature, he decides not to be offended in such a situation, even if someone deliberately tries to “offend” him; offending gives him the opportunity to ask himself questions about the reasons for the current situation. The downside of the state is that a person unknowingly becomes a victim, alternation occurs protest, accusations, aggression and experiences of suffering, which are used to attract attention and put pressure on the offender. As practice shows, the feeling of resentment has no age. Quite adults can turn to a psychologist with a similar question and the resentment lives for years: against parents, children, relatives, work colleagues, former classmates, friends and random people in vehicles, on the street. I myself was in a similar situation when, as a teenager, age, the relationship with my daughter deteriorated, mutual resentment, tension and suffering - how can this be, I did so much for her. Fortunately, my growing up helped me understand many things and realize in whose hands the responsibility for our relationship with my daughter lies, regain trust and the joy of communication. If you want to cope with resentment, preserve your health and psyche from unecological feelings of resentment, you can contact me for a consultation. If you do not have such an opportunity, I suggest you do the technique according to J. Rainwater Emotionally corrective experience 1. You need a pen and a notepad / notebook.2.Remember an episode that causes a feeling of resentment, worries or insults you.3.Write down in the form of a text-story, remember the events and details as accurately as possible.Important! In the present tense and in the first person. (This technique is suitable if the events did not become a serious psychological trauma for you) Restore the dialogues, describe the feelings. 5. Now rewrite your story, text the way you would like it to happen. For example,: say: “Stop!”, if you want to hit the offender, imagine that you gave a slap in the face, go towards it - win, or take revenge. Or love the person you hate. Do whatever you want in your new story. Create new conversations. Describe your other feelings. Come up with your own story, a story with a different ending. Thank you for reading my article 💚If you want to get advice on this topic, write to me on the B17 website. I will be glad to help you! Alexandra Viktorovna Cherepovskaya, Practical psychologist, Coach|Mentor

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