From the author: Article for parents, educators and my colleagues Adaptation to kindergarten, parting with a child for a while causes a lot of anxiety and worry in both parents and children. We are talking about separation anxiety - the separation of the child from the mother. The first and most difficult experience of separation is the birth of a child. The second is adaptation to kindergarten. I often encounter mothers’ unwillingness to send their child to kindergarten. This is a complex question and there is probably no clear opinion as to whether a child should attend preschool. But, in my opinion, kindergarten is an experience of adaptation to social life and preparation for school. But what this experience will be like depends, first of all, on the child’s parents. Most parents send their children to kindergarten, so I devote this article to thoughts and recommendations for adapting to kindergarten. It seems to me that this is a very difficult question and the child’s further adaptation in life depends on the experience gained by the child. Many mothers are afraid that the child will start crying, so when they bring him to kindergarten, they leave without saying goodbye. Let's try to look at the situation through the eyes of a child. He stayed with his mother for 2 or 3 years. He developed relationships and communication with her. She was always there and helped him. And then, suddenly, mom disappears. He is left alone in an unknown place, with other people's "aunts" and a large number of children. How do you like this reality? I think this situation is scary. The child does not know that his mother will come and take him away. A fantasy may appear in his head that his mother abandoned him forever! This is scary! Parents are perplexed, what is the point of explaining something to him if he is small. He won't understand anything. Some mothers say that when they tell their baby that they will take him to kindergarten and go to work, he starts crying and clinging to his mother. This is a natural reaction of a child. He is scared of having to leave his mother. What to do in such situations? It is very important here that adults understand that the child’s behavior and reaction are adequate. It’s not easy for adults in this situation either. Adapting to kindergarten causes a lot of anxiety and guilt. Moreover, if your personal experience of visiting a preschool institution was not the best. It is important to understand that we are talking about separation anxiety (separation of the child from the mother). And if the mother is very worried about the child, then perhaps her own feelings and experiences are getting in the way. Mom could have had a negative experience. Then parting with the baby is unbearable for her. The nature of these experiences can be explored by consulting a psychologist. It is important to understand that now the child is going to kindergarten and needs support from a loved one. Perhaps his parent did not have this support, so adults ignore the baby’s feelings and experiences. How to help a child adapt to kindergarten? I will try to give some basic recommendations, but in each case it is necessary to take into account the individual characteristics of the child and his family. 1. It is worth noting that accustoming and adapting to kindergarten occurs in stages. And, I would also add that it is better to start it before visiting kindergarten. An excellent way is developmental groups, and in the future, visiting “extended days” (when you can leave the child for 2-3 hours in a group with a teacher). This helps the child adapt to kindergarten faster and easier. 2. Observation of the child. What is he interested in? What games and toys does he choose? Favorite fairy tales, books? Features of his character? Eating habits? This information about the child can be shared with educators so that they can take into account his individual characteristics. I understand that there may be many contradictory statements on this point. I draw the reader's attention to the fact that the groups in kindergarten are large. Let's hope that over time the teacher will understand the characteristics of your child, and you can help with this. You know yourthe child is better and longer. You and he had close contact for several years. He can be more open and sincere with you than in kindergarten. 3. Before the child goes to kindergarten, it is better to tell and prepare him in advance. You can walk with your child near or (if possible) on the territory of the kindergarten. Show the child that children spend time here when their parents go about their business. You can talk about how a day goes in kindergarten, what the rules are there and what the children do. It is imperative to emphasize that when parents finish their work day, they come for their children. You can also do this during an evening walk and say that this girl walked with a group in the morning and was without her mother, and now she and her mother are going home. 4. There are some great ways to help children. You can give your child a watch with your favorite character. And say when the little arrow shows 5, mom will pick you up (of course, the child doesn’t know or understand the clock, but this calms him down and gives him faith that mom will pick him up). It is very important here to carry out what is agreed upon. If mom said she would come at 5, then she comes. You can point the child to the watch and draw his attention to the fact that the arrow shows the number 5. Some children take their favorite toy with them - this is also a portable object and a fantasy that mom is nearby (if this is allowed by the rules of the kindergarten). Someone asks for their own blanket or pillow (but also taking into account the rules of the kindergarten).5. Helps to adapt to kindergarten - play and fairytale therapy. Plot - the character goes to kindergarten. 6. If a child speaks well, then it is important to discuss and be interested in what happens to him in kindergarten (does he like to sleep? does he eat well? does he like the teacher? what does he like to do and what not?). This information is important to know to help your child. There are situations when a child has problems in relationships with the teacher or children. In such a situation, it is important to discuss this with the teacher. By the way, I often hear that parents are not happy with the teacher and are afraid to say so. To the question: "Why?" They, as a rule, answer - “what if she later takes it out on the child.” It seems to me that such behavior is unacceptable! And if there is a fear that they will take it out on the child, then it is important to understand where this idea comes from? The ability to protect your child and trust his words is an important task for every parent.7. Another interesting option, it seems to me, is writing a note for the evening. In the morning, you can discuss with your child his wishes about how he wants to spend the evening, write a note and give it to the child. In the evening, read it again with your child and fulfill his wish. In conclusion, I will say that interaction with a child is always a difficult process for an adult. Your own feelings, emotions and experiences get in the way. For some parents, it is not possible to see the situation through the eyes of a child, so children’s feelings and memories are ignored. But it is worth remembering that we all need support, understanding, love and acceptance. And, first of all, we expect this from those closest to us. The child counts on this support. Moreover, adaptation to kindergarten is a traumatic experience. BUT! It is necessary and is the first step in adaptation to social life. And if the child feels care and support from adults, and not condemnation like: “oh, what a bad girl you are. Mom needs to go to work, and here you are crying” or “that boy over there doesn’t cry and lets his mother go, but you...” (allow me a lyrical digression:)). And that boy has been going to kindergarten since the beginning of summer, so and doesn’t cry, but yours just started. Your child is not interested that the other one is not crying. In this situation, he may feel bad and understand that his mother is not happy with him and feel guilty).As I already said, adaptation to kindergarten is a problem. This is a difficult and very traumatic experience for both parents and children. And if you are experiencing difficulties and difficulties, I will be glad to be of assistance to you. Sincerely, psychologist Ekaterina!]