Recently, while visiting a beauty salon, I got into a conversation with a pedicurist. She talked a lot about herself, about her life. An ordinary woman, with her own problems and worries. Her story reminded me of similar situations of my clients. I decided to share my thoughts on the topic with you, dear readers. Childhood situations influence later life. “...It started in childhood. My mother worked in a rest home. All children of employees were invited to participate in concerts for vacationers. One girl was the host of the concert all the time. She did great: easy, beautiful, loud. Everyone applauded her. I looked at her and wanted the same. I saw myself on stage, saw everyone clapping for me. Somehow I made up my mind and approached the organizer with the words that I really, really want to host the concert. She asked me if I could, if I would let her down. I replied that I would do everything well. And then the hour “X” came. I’m standing on stage, the auditorium is packed. I need to announce the next speaker. But I can’t, I forgot the text! I stood there for a while and then ran backstage. There the organizer caught me by the sleeve and angrily hissed that I had ruined her whole concert, that I was worthless, that it was better for me to sit and not stick my head out. I remember this incident all my life. I’m just as ashamed as I was then, I still want to run away and hide, hide, so as not to look people in the eyes. I also vividly remember this woman’s narrowed eyes, boring into me and an angry whisper in my face. I like my profession. But I feel so much unspent potential inside me, so much that I can give to people! There were many different projects. But no matter what I start, everything except my profession fails. I cannot realize anything. Failure after failure led to me becoming afraid to dream, afraid of my ideas. And over the years, more and more.” She paused and continued: “Do you know what I understood from this children’s story? I understood why I couldn’t perform. To be honest, I didn’t know how to do it at all, and I didn’t want to host this concert. In fact, I only wanted to hear as much applause as that girl. But now, when I start doing what I even want to do, I don’t believe in myself, I don’t believe that I will succeed. And I take on new things less and less often..." "Other people's" applause... Many years after this event, the narrator made a very important conclusion from the situation: she tried to do something that she didn’t want, she did it only in order to get a result - to hear applause addressed to you, like “that girl.” This often happens in life when they work where they don’t want to, just because of the high salary, prestige or something else. Or they live with an unloved person, because it’s “time”, everyone around them is already married. Or they marry someone who called and is more successful than other applicants, in order to have a certain social and material status. But the heart is silent... The result most often is that there is no expected result in the form of money, love, pleasure from life. And all because they did the wrong thing to get these same bonuses. But not everyone, like that loud girl, is able to immediately recognize what will bring applause in life. It also happens that in order to find out, it takes years, or even decades, of trial and error. It is necessary to make many “exits” onto the stage of life with different programs in order to find what will bring the desired results. Failures and ups, despair and joy, new and new attempts are possible. One of these exits may turn out to be a matter of life that will fill every day with meaning, make your eyes shine, your heart burn and rejoice at everything that surrounds you. What important things did the narrator keep silent about? During such performances, it is very important which “accompanist” will be nearby. An angry hissing aunt with eyes narrow from anger can undermine self-confidence for the rest of her life. And the memory of an unsuccessful debut will long be reminded by uncertainty and fear, guilt and shame, thoughts that she ruined everything, that she is worthless, that it is better to sit and not.