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I'm not a robot

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How to communicate correctly with a sick loved one. We discuss this issue in all our support groups. It also happens that at an acquaintance meeting, a future group member tells us: I don’t know if I need support, just give me an algorithm on how to communicate with a patient, and I don’t need anything else, I don’t have any other problems. Teach proper communication and that’s it. Let’s try to speculate on this topic here. In our ordinary lives, we communicate with different people and we know that the success or failure of communication depends on a lot of things. Who is this person, what is his character and what state is he in now, what kind of person am I and in what state, which of us needs communication and why, what do we expect from each other and our communication, do we both know how to build relationships, taking into account the peculiarities each other, is there someone else who is interested in our relationship, do we have enough time to communicate, etc. and so on. We know and can do all this. When communicating with a mentally ill relative, we have to take into account not only this, but also the symptoms of the disorder, and the psychological difficulties that both parties experience in communication. What symptoms there may be and how to take them into account. Crazy ideas. Inadequate judgments can make healthy people want to immediately convince the patient, correct him, challenge his point of view and set him on the right path, teach him to think correctly, etc. Should not be doing that. It will still not be possible to convince someone; rational reasoning cannot cure nonsense. Sometimes we, relatives, have the idea to ask the patient thoroughly about his delusional experiences, to study the delirium in every detail in order to find the weak link in it and thus hack the entire system of delirium. This idea itself is also a little crazy, because such tactics not only cannot be successful, but they also put healthy people at risk of getting induced delusional disorder. What to do. We do not support or argue with nonsense, we do not encourage or refute it. Difficulties with thinking, concentration, and memory in a patient can cause irritation and impatience in healthy people, a desire to “get through.” They “explain” to the patient a lot, quickly and emotionally, and seeing the lack of success, they become even more irritated. If the patient has cognitive difficulties, one must speak calmly, in simple words, briefly, and be prepared to repeat what was said several times without increasing the “emotional temperature.” The patient’s emotions—anger, fear, mood swings—often cause resentment, anxiety, confusion, and anger among relatives . However, it is impossible to calm a sick person in this state. The main principle of behavior is to remain calm yourself, not to aggravate relationships with unnecessary disputes and discussions, not to take personally the actions of the patient or the words he says, and limit communication. If a sick loved one, on the contrary, is closed and distant, he has little sympathy for other people, he is emotionally cold , passive, then the involuntary desire of relatives to stir him up and shame him can harm the relationship. The best tactic in this case is to invite people to communicate, to carefully involve them in contact little by little, remembering that all these features are symptoms of the disease. There is another difficulty that equally affects both patients and relatives - stigma. This psychological mechanism makes a person doubt his significance, fear being rejected by other people, and not believe in his strengths and capabilities. It’s good if healthy relatives manage to maintain at least a positive attitude in themselves, and an atmosphere of respect, love and understanding in the family. What are the common mistakes in communication that happen in families. Incontinence in expressing emotions. On the one hand, it is obvious that all family members inevitably experience emotional overload and emotions must be put somewhere. But on the other hand, violent expression of emotions only complicates communication in the family, and over time worsens the patient’s condition. What to do. Look for opportunities to discharge emotions safely and outside the family.!

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