It is very difficult to find words to express condolences and sympathy to someone who finds themselves in grief. Cliches do not work here; it would be wrong to give some blanks, some cliches. Sometimes it’s not even the words that are important, but how you say them, or maybe you don’t say them, but simply stay nearby so that the one who is in grief notices you and can lean on you. Unfortunately, very often people who have lost loved ones are forced after some time to hide their grief, although it has not yet passed. Hide from others, for the sole reason that others do not know how to behave. They experience awkwardness, embarrassment, feel unable to help, and therefore experience despair and choose to bypass the grieving person. Today I would like to go through the stages of the life of a grieving person. We are not talking about those stages that are replicated on the Internet, and which everyone already knows almost by heart. I want to show you behind the scenes of the life of a grieving person. Perhaps those who have experienced loss will add something to my description. In general, I think that the topic of losing loved ones needs to be discussed. This topic should stop being taboo, and this will help you better navigate such life situations, not avoid them, and find words and strength to help those who need your support. Understand, feel what the grieving person needs right now. The first 48 hours - shock, refusal to believe in what is happening. The first week - funerals, worries, the feeling of loss is dulled and transferred more superficially. The second - fifth weeks - a feeling of abandonment by both family and friends, because everyone returns to their usual activities Sixth-twelfth weeks - real awareness of loss (sleep disturbance, panic fear, sudden mood swings, strong desire to be alone and a desire to talk with the deceased) Third-fourth months - cycles of bad and good days. Sometime it covers, sometimes it lets go Sixth month - depression begins, anniversaries, holidays, birthdays, memorable dates are especially painful The first anniversary becomes either very traumatic, or, on the contrary, a turning point 18-24 months - a person returns to a new life, related words disappear from the lexicon with heaviness, loss, grief. Knowing this, how can you help? Lend a shoulder when a person is lonely, listen when he needs it, and in no case rush “but so much time has passed, and you still cry.” Please never say these words. It’s very painful to see people who say, “I have to hide my experiences from others because they blame me for grieving for a long time.” And more. You know, when my husband died, I divided grief into two types - grief and pathological grief. This classification seems to exist only in my country; I haven’t seen it anywhere in 20 years. Pathological grief, in my opinion, is the grief of losing those you simply should not have lost. From the loss of young relatives and children. Such grief, according to my work experience, can last much more than five years, and I do not consider this to be stuck at some stage. I try to teach clients to live with this grief……… sometimes it works………