From the author: About the crisis of 7 years, its signs, the causes of its acute course and advice to parents on how to survive the crisis and not go crazy:) The child goes to school and begins to understand his place in world of public relations. The child begins to distinguish between “I am the way I am” and “I am the way others see me.” An inner life arises and arbitrary behavior is formed. The child begins to do homework because “I have to,” and not because I “want.” Manifestations of the crisis: 1. Loss of childish spontaneity: Between desire and action, wedges the experience of what meaning this action will have for the child himself. 2. Manners, capriciousness, the child does not walk the way he walked before. Something deliberate, absurd and artificial appears in behavior, some kind of fidgeting, clowning, clowning; the child pretends to be a buffoon. 3. A meaningful orientation in one’s own experiences arises: the child begins to understand what “I am happy”, “I am sad”, “I am angry”, “I am kind”, “I am angry” means. - Experiences become meaningful (an angry child understands that he is angry). - For the first time, a generalization of experiences, a logic of feelings, appears. That is, if some situation has happened to him many times, he develops a certain emotional attitude towards this place, business or person. - An acute struggle of emotions arises. Experience is the internal attitude of a child as a person to a particular moment of reality. 4. Self-love and self-esteem arise. The level of our demands on ourselves, on our success, on our position arises in connection with the crisis of seven years. The most important thing that children need from their parents and other adults in this period is respect: the child makes a claim to respect, to be treated as an adult, to recognition of his sovereignty. 5. The phenomenon of “bitter candy”: the child achieves his goal, but does not feel pleasure from it, because he achieved it in a socially disapproved way. 6. Parenting difficulties arise. The child begins to withdraw and becomes uncontrollable. How to cope with the crisis of seven years? Tips for parents To begin with, you should always remember that crises are temporary phenomena, they pass, they need to be survived. Be patient, respectful and attentive to the child, love him, but do not “tie” him to yourself, let him have friends, your social circle. Be prepared to support your child, listen and encourage him. It is easier to cope with a problem when it has just arisen and has not yet led to negative consequences. The reason for the acute course of the crisis is authoritarianism and harshness towards the child on the part of the parents, so it is necessary to think about whether all the prohibitions are justified and whether it is possible to give the child more freedom and independence. Try to change your attitude towards the child: he is no longer small, pay close attention to his opinions and judgments, try to understand him. It is important to actually listen to the child, and not just pretend. Morals and orders do not work during this crisis, try not to force, but to convince, reason and analyze with the child the possible consequences of his actions. If your relationship with your child has become complete scandals and grievances, you need to take a break from each other for a while: send the child to relatives for a few days, and when he returns, make a firm decision not to scream or lose his temper at all costs. It is important that the child goes to first class prepared. Then adaptation to school will be easier, and the crisis will not worsen. We are talking about the level of general knowledge (of the surrounding world, seasons, geometric shapes, one’s name, the city in which he lives, memory development, etc.) and psychological readiness (tell him what is ahead (with a positive connotation), what difficulties there may be and how you can cope with them, take a tour of the school). Encourage communication with friends of the same age. Teach your child to manage emotions (using the example of your.