The most common question is: “Where is my place in the world?” occurs in people whose systems are disturbed and there are “excluded”* family members. And all the searching, throwing, moving, changing jobs, changing friends, as a rule, is caused by the fact that a person literally does not know what place he occupies in the family. Where is he in the line of children? Who are his parents, grandparents? Where are the lost ancestors? Where is the Motherland? The question of “my place in the world” is especially acute in families where there were aborted children. And those children who received life do not know that they had brothers and sisters. Hundreds of arrangements of the Psychological Center "Appl" are dedicated to this very topic. And for me, as a constellator, the question of “my place in the world” is always a warning beacon. Usually this question is accompanied by a number of additional questions, statements and signs: - “Who am I?” A person literally does not know who he is: a boy or a girl, a grandmother or a great-grandmother, depending on who he is merged with. - “I don’t live my life.” Often this is really someone else's life, or even several. - “It’s as if I’m not living.” Yes, such people are partially in death. - “I have two (three or four) educations.” Receiving education for several brothers and sisters. - “I try myself in different areas, I have several professions.” Self-realization for several brothers and sisters. - "I travel a lot. I love to travel." It is my duty to gather my family, which is scattered around the world. - “I love children, I want children, but for some reason I don’t have them.” I don’t want to become better than a mother and give birth to children. And I don’t want to lose. - “I think it’s my duty to adopt a child,” “Working with children is my duty.” Guilt towards aborted brothers and sisters. This happens if at the level of conscience there is a conviction that life was obtained at someone else’s expense. - “Helping homeless dogs (cats) is important. I cannot calmly pass by homeless animals,” “I have 2 or more cats/dogs.” Etc. Projection of aborted siblings. They prefer dark colors in clothes, especially black. They are interested in the other world. They often suffer from depression, fear, increased or decreased appetite. They need stimulants to feel life more acutely. They are fond of extreme sports, where life is on the verge of death. They tend to get into trouble, say, get lost in the mountains, drown. They love dancing until they drop, as if in defiance of death, alcohol, drugs, smoking, overeating, in general, everything that is excessive. Or, on the contrary, they suffer from asthenia, anorexia, and weakness. They often gather around themselves a group of friends (acquaintances, wards, animals) equal in number to the excluded family members. First of all, equal in number to brothers and sisters (dead or unborn). It is characteristic that they rarely have good contact with living brothers and sisters. There are too many dead between them. And these are not all the signs by which one can recognize this dynamic of searching for one’s place in the world. If you have a question “Where is my place in the world?”, talk to your mother, draw up a genogram**, make an arrangement to restore order in the system. Let all family members find their place. Then you too can find your place and live your life. *Excluded are family members who have been forgotten or whose existence is hidden for some reason. Often excluded are aborted children, family members who have committed a crime (murderers, victims, traitors, violators of the incest taboo, enemies of the people). The presence of the excluded violates the first law of systems development, “The Right to Belong.” Due to the fact that the law “Right to Belong” operates regardless of the wishes of people, someone from the clan (as a rule, younger children after two or three generations - grandchildren, great-grandchildren) will begin to “replace” this person (sometimes several at once). **Genogram – graphic representation of family history.