- Let's try to live like husband and wife for two weeks?- With whose money? And where should we try? - You wanted to go to the sea... Shall we go? We’ll try there... And you’ll definitely decide whether you’ve made your choice or... You can’t forget everything that’s yours. You will understand whether you can be with me or not. I can’t do this anymore... I don’t know what to do for you so that you forget him. It seems that you are comparing us, looking for him in me... - I don’t look for anyone in anyone and I said goodbye to my past a long time ago. You see what you want to see. You don't believe me, that's all. Why then do you need this trip? Where will you get the money for it? Will you ask dad? And if we go, and then I say that thank you, everything was nice, but not that... You will never look for meetings with me again, and we will stop our communication? - No, I will always be there and will wait for you you poke around, play enough, get out. Until you understand that only I can make you happy. Agree that I understand you better than you and can predict what you want, what you need? - I don’t understand why this trip offer is then. Wait like this... - I can’t wait like this anymore, watch from the sidelines and communicate in a friendly manner. I want, albeit a little, but happiness with you. I can’t imagine anyone else but you as my wife and mother of my children. Promise that if you get pregnant in these two weeks, you will not get rid of the child. In any case, you will leave him, and if nothing works out between us, you will give birth and give him to me. He evoked mixed feelings in her: surprise, pity, fear, reliability, complete acceptance of herself. He evoked and forced me to experience a lot of things, a lot of things... Except love. There was no love. It’s not that she’s completely indifferent to him, no. She admired his education and manners. She understood that it was a great success when a guy from such a financially secure family is not spoiled, not selfish, knows how to truly love, worships her, values ​​her. Until that day, he did not rush her and did not speak so openly about his feelings. His love and obsession with her was manifested in his actions, but at the same time, so as not to offend, not to cause a feeling of annoyance in her. Tickets for a concert that she dreamed of attending, but did not have enough money, a trip to a sanatorium for the weekend, a new exhibition in an art gallery, bouquets, sweets, etc., all this was by chance, from him, but without his presence. I just conveyed it through someone and that’s it... She wasn’t ready for this. She understood with her mind that a better match could not be found, but her heart resisted... She did not lie, she had long since forgotten about her first unhappy love, she did not compare him with anyone, and it would have been difficult to do this, even if such a desire had arisen. Who can you compare this to? I admired his parents, who were able to instill in their son such an attitude towards women. This fixation on her was frightening, sometimes reminiscent of servility and mania. His and her friends said: “You miss your happiness, there are so many hunters after him, and when he met you, it was as if he had replaced the person. No one thought they were capable of such feelings. The parents are happy, they couldn’t be happier that their son has fallen in love, they are also making plans. Look around, what to expect, who? Indeed, whoever runs from his happiness, it is given into his hands...” At work and at home they also began to stress: “Watch for your happiness. Turn your nose up... Why are you like in the Stone Age? If it doesn’t work out, you’ll get divorced and be left with a dowry. Otherwise you will remain in poverty, whoever you find here, look around, there is no choice. You don’t need anything yourself, please the person, let him at least enjoy his love. In great marriages it’s always like this, one loves, the other allows him to love, and everyone is happy.” It was strange for her to build a relationship without love. “If you endure it, you will fall in love; of course, it may be so. But how can you look him in the eye? How to go to bed with him? He commands respect with his intelligence, yes. But in fact he doesn’t work, he lives on his parents’ money. What fascinates everyone so much? They have a wealthy family, but this is not his merit. It turns out that just as he offered me an agreement, it’s logical for me to try to reach an agreement with myself? But at the same time hehas feelings for me, but I don’t for him... Oh, if I didn’t know the feeling of falling in love, how it blows your mind, how it makes you catch a glance, a word, a gesture, how it inspires you to do deeds and actions, makes you breathe differently , then perhaps these doubts would not exist. And so... What to do? I feel guilty and ungrateful and that’s all.” After all these thoughts, she herself suggested that he give her a trip to the camp site and gather all her friends. We had been planning for a long time, but we couldn’t get out, first one thing, then another. And yet, he also goes with them. I decided that if I try, then why put it off for long distances... “We’ll try here, and then what to do with the sea, it will become clear.” They had a large company, all active, lively, masters of invention. But this time everything was different. There was visible fun, but everyone was waiting for the outcome... How would the evening end? Why were they all gathered? She only now realized how stupid she had been. I thought it would be easier for her, like they usually would have a carefree “break away” with the crowd, but it turned out to be more and more complicated. Not only was he waiting for her to act, everyone else was waiting too. Everyone regarded this trip not as a simple weekend in nature, but invested it with a meaning that it did not foresee. “It’s time to stop this performance. What will it take away from me? Enough…". She defiantly told everyone that she was tired and went to bed... After a while, he knocked on the room... she opened the door... Everyone breathed a sigh of relief... She didn’t like it, but it was tolerable. Let's go to the sea. We went to live as husband and wife for two weeks. Actually, it was difficult to be a wife with him in the truest sense of the word; he protected her from everything and did almost everything himself. All that was required of her was to allow him to love her and pamper her, and... not to use protection. During this time, we visited all the excursions that were offered, all the concerts, all the cafes and restaurants. It was not clear whether they both felt uncomfortable and he offered her all this so that she would not have time to think, understand, feel how she felt next to him, and she agreed to everything, just not to be alone with him , or they were so captivated by this vacation and all the resort entertainment. And then night came. In gratitude for everything he did for her from morning until that very night, she allowed herself to be loved again... He felt that this was only out of gratitude, but he didn’t need more, he was happy. He prayed to heaven that she would become pregnant... She, at the same time, thought with horror: “Just not to get pregnant.” Two weeks flew by for him like one day. For her, two weeks seemed like an eternity. To be a prisoner of happiness... She realized that she was not ready to pay this bill... She realized that she didn’t just want to take and receive, to use, she also wanted to give and please just like him, to be happy because of this... To be permeated with love through and through. To be imbued with boundless, all-consuming love, to radiate love. How can I just tell him about this? He was the first to start the conversation: “Tomorrow you need to give an answer.” What have you decided? If you refuse, I will understand. Don’t think about me, you gave me such happiness that I could not count on and had no right to. Listen to yourself. Do not feel sorry for me. Don’t answer anything now, don’t. We still have a whole day. She felt driven into a corner. I felt not just ungrateful, but an insensitive “blockhead.” Tears welled up in my eyes, I wanted to scream, sob, run away from him, from his love, from these words of his. And then the realization came that you can run away from everything and everyone, you can run all your life... or maybe just start living? Stop taking and accepting, and start giving? She came up to him, hugged him and firmly said: “I love you, I just don’t know how you talk about it and do things, but I’ll try to learn, I’ll try, just be patient.” “Two phenomena that, perhaps, What is most characteristic of man is love and conscience. They are the most striking manifestations of another unique.