Why do you act the same way in similar unpleasant situations? Each time it irritates you more and more. Do you blame someone, or perhaps you are angry with yourself that you cannot change anything? Let’s figure it out. I’ll tell you a secret - everything is complicated, but at the same time very simple. You once learned this for the first time from someone. Yes, when for the first time in your life there was a similar situation, you learned to react this way. Perhaps this happened in your childhood, and your close relative, more often your mother, had a similar situation. There, mom thought something, reacted emotionally, then took some action. You were an observer and at the same time a participant in this situation, even if you did not show yourself there in any way. Unfinished situations that require a solution are especially vividly remembered. Then similar situations will arise in your life. But since you habitually react, but do not find a solution, the emotional burden will accumulate. The function of this weight is to push you to a decision. As soon as the decision is made, that’s it, the lesson is completed and relief comes. If relief does not occur, then the decision is wrong. During consultations, we find such situations, often in childhood, during your mother’s pregnancy with you. And I always ask, is this yours or not? Yes mine! Sometimes a person gets so used to this story that he considers it his life. If everything happened to mom, these were mom’s experiences, mom’s life, mom’s unmade decision, then now you can simply thank mom, return to her this way of reacting in such situations. What do you really want to say, act in such a situation and with joy find your new way of reacting in such a situation, which does not cause internal tension and creates a feeling of lightness inside. It is important to understand if you even saw that you were reacting this way, because your mother also reacted this way. Mom is mom, and you are you. Believe me, our mothers have no goal to teach us anything bad. They lived and reacted as best they could. You took this method into your baggage and perhaps it helped you at some stage. But today, you are you. Only you decide whether to use it, or return it to your mother and add a new way of reacting in such situations to the free space. We learned a lot in childhood not only from our mother. But also from dad, grandfather, grandmother, aunt, uncle and everyone who surrounded us then. Yes, you can blame someone all your life that it’s because of them... But since you are reading this now, then you can definitely change your life. What feelings bother you most often, where do you usually live? Anger, frustration, resentment, anxiety, helplessness, despair, loneliness? Is this really your way of life, or someone else’s? Since you are in it, then it is now yours, but at the same time it is not. It’s very simple - you need to voice that I have it and I want to change it. As soon as you stop hiding it in yourself, or closing yourself off from it, the problem becomes visible. It’s like opening a box in which this very feeling lives. Take it out, look at it, write down on a piece of paper everything you feel and think. If you don't have the courage, make an appointment with a psychologist. Together it's not scary, it's even fun. Natalya Demyanets psychologist, psychosomatics specialist My telegram channel: PSYCHOLOGY l PSYCHOSOMATICS https://t.me/natalya_demyanets