From the author: published in the magazine "Telenedelya" The story of Oksana is the story of a woman who, in my opinion, really wanted to be almost a saint. From childhood she learned what is good and what is bad, and tried to be a good girl in everything. When she came to me for psychotherapy, I could not get rid of the feeling that she was doing everything to make me feel good. She tried to be the “right” client. To my question about what it means to be “correct,” she could not answer for a long time. She tried to answer questions correctly, sit correctly and think correctly. I was already starting to get angry, but suddenly I realized that I was not showing her my anger. It’s as if I got this “right” infection from her. Anger fell into the category of “wrong” feelings. I told her about this, to which she was very surprised, and said that she did not want to see me correct at all. It is very important for her that I show her all my feelings. That I am so unique and alive, and she feels very good with me, with the real me. She said that all her friends and acquaintances are unique people. She values ​​and respects them all very much. And her children are brilliant, and her husband is wonderful. And what nice neighbors! And I listened to her monologue and didn’t believe it. Not because she is surrounded by special people, but because she is happy. That's what I asked. Oksana, of course, nodded and said that she had nothing to complain about since she had such good people next to her. Deciding to take a different approach, I asked her to tell me about her childhood. In the family, Oksana was the eldest of three children. The twins' two younger brothers required a lot of their mother's attention. Oksana helped with the housework and looked after her brothers. An elderly grandmother still lived in the family, whose care also fell on Oksana’s shoulders. My father was constantly missing at work; when he returned home late at night, my mother’s attention switched to him. The family was sensitive to health issues. Doctors diagnosed Oksana’s mother with asthma, her father had a weak heart, her brothers constantly caught colds and were sick, and her grandmother, as an elderly person, had a whole range of symptoms. The only person who was not sick in this family was Oksana. In her childhood, she never had time to be a child. She had no right to the attention of her mother and father, she could not be capricious, wait for gifts, or be jealous. She matured early and learned that all the people around her are unique, valuable, worthy of love and respect. Everyone except her. In her adult family, Oksana also did everything for others. I understood that I might be hurting her, but it was impossible not to say it. I told her about her uniqueness and value, about the crime she was committing, hiding it behind feigned correctness. About her fear of being herself. I spoke, and she cried. Surprisingly, I was the first person to even touch on the topic of its value. She didn't even see obvious things, for example, that she was very beautiful. She also writes great stories, but doesn’t show them to anyone because “who needs them?” Only at the seventh meeting, she was able to say the phrase “I am beautiful” with pleasure and without irony. At home, she set aside an hour for herself, during which she asked her loved ones not to disturb her. At this hour she was doing completely “wrong” things - reading books, making masks, gnawing on sunflower seeds, lying in a bubble bath, in general, this was her hour of pleasure. Her husband and sons truly turned out to be unique. They were only happy about the changes in her behavior. The husband, sighing with relief, said something about “Finally, you have become normal and alive!” and suggested we go to a cafe. Oksana even took the risk of sending one of her stories to the competition, and they agreed to publish it. At the last meeting, she looked at me slyly and said that “You are somehow correct, Lena, even suspiciously. And I just enjoy being wrong. It turns out that by her I meant quite normal qualities. For example, creativity, freedom and pleasure».