From the author: Taking the seventh step in the fight against an eating disorder Perfectionism, that is, a focus on inflated standards and the desire to achieve them at any cost, can be additional factors that support an eating disorder behavior. To overcome the disorder, it is very important to learn to accept your body as it is, with its imperfections, and this means that you need to change your expectations and constantly push yourself to achieve the mythical ideal. It is possible that you have high standards in other areas of your life - at work, in school or in sports. Such standards, of course, push you to work and improve yourself, but if you fail to achieve them, it can lead to you feeling like a failure. You may believe that feeling like a failure is the price you have to pay for so that at other moments you can feel like a winner. But it is worth thinking about how to find a middle ground between these two extremes. If you feel that you have a problem with perfectionism, then you should try to overcome it using the following practical steps. Step One Ask yourself: What do I do to be perfect? ? What actions are good for me? For example, Oksana’s perfectionism was manifested in the fact that she not only limited herself in food, but also engaged in grueling and painful physical exercises. Step two. Find ways to feel good not only because of outstanding achievements. - To figure out how to do this, read about the basics of expanding self-esteem. For example, Oksana realized that she could value herself for her good sense of humor, as well as for being very attentive to clients at work. Step third. For the sake of experimentation, try not adhering to your perfectionistic standards for a while and evaluate how you feel. For example, give up too strict rules regarding food, weight, figure, or in other areas in which your perfectionism still manifests itself, and evaluate the results. For example, Oksana decided to firmly adhere to her meal plan and at the same time not do squats and push-ups every time , as she usually did. At first she felt anxious, but after a few days she noticed that she was becoming more energetic and she really liked it. Step four. Control your perfectionistic thoughts. Think about whether you are focusing them on failures while ignoring your own achievements? Ask yourself, would someone else want to live by your standards and how would it feel? If not, why not? Consider whether you are focusing on only one area, without noticing other aspects of your existence (personality traits, relationships with others, sense of humor). Ask yourself what a realistic view of things would be. To do this, you can use the technique of decentering and distancing - ways to block negative thoughts. Step five. When evaluating the results of your activities, get rid of the “all or nothing” principle. Use a tool for this called a continuum. Every time you evaluate yourself in extreme categories (success or failure), draw a straight line, at the end of which you indicate these extremes, and between them place all possible variations that would reflect the real assessment of your activity If you see your business in an entirely negative light, ask yourself if there are any aspects of your business that can be considered successful. How much of an absolute failure was it? How would anyone else rate it? Where on the continuum would one of your friends place you? The purpose of this exercise is to help you develop less radical and abandon overly simplistic ways of assessing your performance.