The phrase “I can’t afford it,” which I often hear from my clients and acquaintances, has always bothered me. Especially from women. This phrase seems somehow wrong and strange to me, so I never express myself that way. If I want something, but I can’t buy it right now, then I understand that I just need to earn more money. And you shouldn’t code yourself for prohibitions and restrictions. Of course, there is a big difference between “I can’t buy it,” i.e., there is simply no money, and “I can’t afford it,” i.e. there is money, but a person cannot afford an expensive purchase due to some internal beliefs and restrictions. Moreover, such prohibitions can greatly affect earnings and lifestyle in general. Of course, each person has his own deep-seated reasons and beliefs to prohibit yourself from thinking about good income and a higher quality of life. This is exactly the problem faced by my client, who is now in long-term therapy with me. Initially, she came in with the problem of self-doubt, and we have already managed to work with limiting beliefs and goal setting. Naturally, the matter touched upon the topic of finance. In a state of trance, it turned out that in order to feel confident and protected, she simply does not have enough money. Then I suggested that the girl metaphorically imagine a huge resource of money, such as a suitcase with money, or imagine herself as Scrooge McDuck, who is literally swimming in bills..... In general, the client, who was in a trance, should have felt that she had all the necessary financial resources. But at that very moment she felt terribly uncomfortable. When asked why she felt so bad, the client replied that if she had a lot of money, then she automatically became a bad person. And when we began to find out why this strange cause-and-effect relationship arises, very interesting points emerged. It turned out that in her family system, being poor was always natural and even correct. That is, if I don’t have money, then I’m a good person and almost a saint. And those who have wealth and money are corrupt and bad people. It turns out to be a very serious internal conflict: on the one hand, you need money to feel confident and protected, on the other hand, there is strong discomfort. I had to dig deeper and I proposed to the girl still imagine that there is enough money to provide yourself with a confident and prosperous life with everything you need (apartment, expensive things, dresses, etc.) This is where the main limiting belief surfaced: “I CAN’T AFFORD THIS.” .- How can you not afford this if you have money? What associations do you have at this moment? - I asked. “Well, this immediately reminds me of my mother.” It turns out that if I want something expensive and good for myself, I will deprive my family of money and become bad. - But you earned this money yourself, so you can afford it. - No, I can’t. I'm getting very scared. And even ashamed. - What is it ashamed of? - Mom never had such a dress, but I will have.... As a result, we came to a very deep inner moment: if you are a confident, rich and developing person, then your family does not you will understand because you are not like them. This is very frightening and causes a feeling of shame. A very serious conflict of values ​​arises, which forces the girl to make a choice: stay with her family and not stand out, or move on, betraying family values. For the client, this became an insight. Now the girl understands that if she lives like her parents, then poverty awaits her. If she chooses development, then she will have to work very seriously with generic practices so that there are no consequences from fears and strong feelings of guilt. In general, the decision remains with the girl, and perhaps in the next sessions we will find a new way to solve this deep generic problem. Do you often say to yourself “I can’t do this for myself?”