From the author: The article is not about borderline personality disorder, but about excessive protection of one’s borders. Although, the boundary between these concepts is quite arbitrary :) Do you know how to defend the boundaries of your personality? If yes, then I'm happy for you. Do you know how NOT to defend them? Sometimes it's much more difficult. They say that after liking the post, the information becomes more interesting. Alena, even before the visit, had read my documents on the Internet and collected a story about me no worse than a seasoned FSB agent. For what? So that she is not deceived! She had to be sure that I was not a charlatan. The first 15 minutes of Alena’s appointment were spent collecting additional information about me. Only later, having become convinced of my education and experience, did she decide to define her request: “I want to learn to trust people.” For some reason, I wasn’t particularly surprised that Alena has trust issues. I started asking about relationships with friends and at work. Alena had only one friend since kindergarten, with whom she was inseparable. Essentially, they were like Siamese twins. 100 percent trust. But with other people, this couple’s level of trust was close to zero, and maybe lower. Of course, how can you trust those who have not passed the 20-year test of loyalty? Alena chose the appropriate job - tax inspector. And this clearly did not contribute to the growth of trust in people. The problem at work was that Alena did not trust her colleagues either. She constantly created conflicts, as someone was sure to violate her personal boundaries. They would make bad jokes about blondes or “those who came to Moscow in large numbers,” which Alena took personally. That task will be given less interesting than to a colleague. Then they will forget to say “polite words” when turning to her with a request. All this became a reason for conflict. What's going on with her personal life? Can you guess it yourself? Alena looked like a rabid border guard who wants to deal with any animal that crossed the border! As a result, she was surrounded by a “scorched earth”, where no relationships, neither friendly nor love, could, in principle, arise. I worked with Alena for 2 years. I helped her work through the traumatic experience of school bullying, taught her to be more accepting of minor accidental violations of her boundaries, Alena successfully completed several trust exercises. And then “flowers bloomed in her soul.” We completed psychotherapy when Alena established a stable relationship with a man. And at work, if not friends, but good acquaintances appeared. Do you know how NOT to protect your borders? If you liked the article, click “👍Say thanks” just below. If you want to read new ones, click “subscribe to the author”" :)