“The most important advantage of maturity is that you no longer have to worry about how your life will turn out” (p.) This is one of my favorite quotes , among those hanging above my desk. She reminds me of my responsibility for my life and the choices I make. And it is she who gives me the answer to the question “Who will I become when I grow up in the future?” And for me this answer is “I will become who I want to become!” “And who do I want to become?” – I ask myself the following question! And then Ostap suffered... I want to become a loving and wise wife who supports her husband and helps him replenish his resources. I want to become a caring and gentle mother who will teach children to love themselves and others. I want to become a good friend who will rejoice in the successes of loved ones and will be there in times of bad weather. I want to become a highly effective professional in my field, working flexible hours, having my own office and waiting list for appointments. I want to become a woman who is an example of harmony, happiness and eternal values ​​for others. I want to become a mentor who will inspire my students and share with them the knowledge and skills I have accumulated over the years. I want to become a versatile person who travels the world, communicates with interesting people, learns something all the time and sets new goals for myself. I want to become a healthy person who moves a lot, watches his diet and sleep patterns, and can play ball with his grandchildren at the age of 60. I painted everything beautifully, right?! But this will remain a beautiful and perhaps even pathetic text on the Internet until I am guided by these long-term desires in everyday life. For example, I am offered a promotion at work, and I understand that although this is pleasant and carries some monetary bonus, my workload will become greater, I will have to go on business trips and stay late at work, which contradicts my desires to realize myself as a caring mother and supportive spouse, since I will have to take the strength and energy for a new position from my family. Or a very everyday example: every Saturday I drag myself out of a warm bed to go in the cold (very relevant now in Moscow) for a swim in the pool. I don’t always want this, but this is what I do for myself and my health, so that at 60 years old... well, in general, you understand me :-). That is, with each of your choices, with each of your actions, you either move closer to or move away from the image of yourself in the future (at this link you can read an excellent article by Professor Tatyana Chernigovskaya that the neurons of our brain are formed under the influence of what we see and hear and we do it today).Perhaps someone might have a question: What should I do if I don’t even know who I want to become? In this case, friends, perhaps you have lost touch with your feelings and needs and you urgently need to restore them. How? Listening to yourself, dreaming, learning to separate your desires from the desires of others, devoting time to yourself and thinking about yourself... Look for useful recommendations in my other posts: first of all, the exercise “Why?” and exercises and reflection topics for self-exploration. From literature, I can recommend the books “It’s Not Harmful to Dream” by Barbara Sher, “Who Will Cry When You Die?” Robin Sharma and his beloved Erich Fromm “To Have or To Be” for those who prefer harder work. Here is another exercise “Advice from the Great.” Think about the people you admire and would like to be like (these could be your friends, famous media figures, historical figures, heroes of films and books, etc.). It’s great if there are several such people (it’s better to choose 5-7 main ones). Analyze what admires you about these people, in what areas of life you would like to be like them. Ask them for advice in their mind, “What should I do to learn this/become like this?” and imagining yourself in their place, answer this question and think that:-)