What is the “House of Lasting Relationships”? This is when a man and a woman decide to become a couple and create a strong family. At the initial stage, when emotions and feelings of love are strong, young people think that everything is easy and simple. Many features and differences of views are not taken into account; the partner seems ideal. And when family life begins and conflicts arise, the house begins to crack... And if it is strong, then it is not afraid of any obstacles and will last its entire life! How to build it, “House of Lasting Relationships”? This house, like any other, consists of a foundation, walls, floors and a roof. Let's look at everything in order: 1. Foundation. This is the initial stage of a relationship. Friendship, understanding, emotional connection, interest, respect. Often a couple turns when there is no longer any interest in each other, respect and banal communication have disappeared, then we begin to strengthen the foundation. If everything is ok here, we move on.2. Walls. Trust and devotion. Trust, the knowledge that the partner will act not only from his own personal interests, but will also strive to take into account my needs and interests as his own. Devotion, loyalty. Prioritize this partner. The desire to have a long-term relationship with him. This is where there is often an ambush... betrayal, deception, neglect. Here, it definitely won’t work out quickly, you need to find reasons and there are too many feelings that need to be worked through.3. Floors.• Respect, admiration, warmth in a couple. Building a culture of gratitude, expressing warmth “Antidote” to lack of respect and arrogance. The focus shifts from mistakes to positive facts or intentions. • Movement towards each other, not away from each other (openness, closure, emotional distance) Attention to the moments when the partner seeks intimacy, meeting, expresses emotional needs and response to this movement. Strengthening the emotional “bank account.” Steps away from: contempt, criticism, dominance, lack of response, pushing away, withdrawal. Step towards: requesting attention, response, interest, support - with and without words. • Positive attitude towards relationships and friend to a friend, a positive image of a partner. If the bottom three floors are not “working,” there will be a negative outlook and a focus on the shortcomings. The partner is felt as an opponent or enemy. When identified, work on the first three levels. Proportion 5:1 (where 5 is a positive view, 1 is negative)• Skills for working with conflict. Partnership in conflict, recognition of the partner and his opinions. Dialogue about problems. Emotional self-regulation and self-help skills. (Read in my article, the secret of interaction in conflict)4. Roof of the house. Community, mission.• Each other's dreams and their realization. Building positive systems in relationships as a conscious action of a couple. Research and support, each other's dreams. It happens that a couple breaks up, realizing that they are simply not on the path... and there are many obstacles, such as fear of loneliness, feelings of guilt.• Creating common values ​​and meanings Building common and shared meanings and values ​​Building rituals for intimacy and meeting. Creating a unique family culture as a cross-cultural experience. Study of ideas about gender and other roles, functionality, goals, emotions. Discussion of experiences from parental families and culture, myths and metaphors of relationships. Goals of therapy:• Restore interest in each other, strengthen love, intimacy and friendship.• Constructively build conflicts, increase positive attitudes in conflict and skills for softer behavior within conflict.• Creation or strengthening common meanings. I hope that the article was useful to you. I wish you the strongest, most comfortable and reliable home. Family psychologist, sexologist Maria Sergeeva. Relationships in couples, marital relationships