Divorce is a great stress for both spouses. If the couple has children, then this process seems even more difficult. Moreover, even if the parents separate, each of them remains a significant figure in life for the children. The child’s opinion about his family and himself also depends on how parents communicate with each other, what the child hears from mom about dad, and from dad about mom. If, while living together, a child often saw parental quarrels, shouting, and showdowns, then yes, in order to form a model of behavior in a couple for a child, this is not the best option for a relationship between a man and a woman. And if the parents understand that it is very difficult for them to live together and they did everything possible to save it - they went to a family psychologist, tried to work on the relationship, but nothing helped, then divorce is a more environmentally friendly solution. But this couple will still be connected by children, so they will then have to build a relationship, losing the status of partners to each other, but maintaining the status of parents to their child. And this will unite them. Examples of requests from different partners during a divorce. Svetlana: “I hate my ex-husband. He ruined my whole life with his stupid character and greed, and then he found another woman. I can’t stand him, but we have children together and therefore I am forced to communicate with him. What should I do? “Mikhail: “My wife and I had an early marriage, by marriage.” And when we got a little older and had children, we began to move away from each other more and more and realized that we were different. We went through family therapy. We tried to restore the relationship. Nothing helped. I realized that I no longer loved my wife, and she realized that she was also feeling bad with me. Now we are at the stage of divorce, but it is not clear to us how to properly communicate with each other.” good relationships is not an easy task. It is important that the most healthy boundaries are created between former partners. Children from their parents need stability and love. And if a child has to live in two houses, then it is important that he feels good in each of the houses. If it is decided that the child will be raised 50/50 by his parents, that is, half the week with his mother and half with his father, then it is necessary that in both places he has his own bed, has his own desk, has his own toys. Of course, a lot depends on the living space of each parent: distance from school or kindergarten, on the parents’ work schedule, etc. Or it is possible to raise 70 to 30 and other options, as the parents agree. If the child is over 10 years old, then he can decide such issues himself, too, discussing with mom and dad. A child is also a person and he worries about his parents’ divorce. He loves both dad and mom, and the parents’ task is to treat the child’s feelings as carefully as possible. Mistakes of parents during divorce. Parents make mistakes, such as: ▪️ They talk negatively about the other parent: “Dad is bad, he abandoned him,” etc. ▪️They use the child as a weapon to take revenge on their ex-partner.▪️They put the child before a choice: “Choose, me or dad/mom.”▪️They ask the child for permission to divorce: “Dad and I decided to divorce. Do you think this is the right decision? ". In this way, the parents seem to be “tearing the child’s heart,” because the child’s parents’ divorce is painful. It is important that parents realize this and do not try to shift responsibility for their decision onto the child. ▪️ It would be a big mistake if the parents did not tell the child about the divorce or that the parents were already divorced. For example, a mother will simply silently transport the child to her parents, and he will still not understand what happened. And mom will say that dad is on a business trip or dad has left, etc. It is not right. ▪️There is no need for a child to show all the pain after a breakup: hysterics, anger, screams about their ex-partner. Because it will scare him very much. The child does not know how to cope with the parent’s feelings and feels powerless. For example, seeing mom's tears after a divorce, she will be angry with dad, who caused such pain. Divorce!