In continuation of the first article about negative scenarios, today I’ll tell you what you can do if you see one or more such scenarios in your relationship. I’ll say right away that recognizing and eliminating negative scenarios in relationships is deep work that most often requires help professional But you can easily start taking the first steps yourself. Then I’ll talk about where you can start. At a minimum, here’s what you can do yourself. Observe your scenario, realize and accept that it exists. Study it, where it begins, how it continues, how it twists stronger and stronger. Here you can pay attention to what triggers it starts with. What specific words, facial expressions, or actions of your partner trigger your negative reactions. And vice versa, what actions or words of yours trigger such processes in your partner. Answer yourself honestly, what is behind this scenario for you? Why are you holding on to him? Maybe you can compensate something at his expense? What are your unmet needs behind it, what do you need? When you understand what your real needs are, you will be able to communicate not in the language of complaints and accusations, but will be able to voice your need directly. And in general, understand whether you want to do something about it or is it okay for you? And if so, what do you want instead of this scenario, what kind of relationship with your partner? Here you form your own motivation to change the situation. If you are not ready to change, then no one can force you, but if you have such an intention, then there are many ways to help you. If there is enough trust in your relationship as a couple, then the best thing you can do is discuss it together . Your scenario is not a reason to look for someone to blame. You can see your script together, acknowledge it and understand that it is your JOINT task to get out of this game. You can come up with a code word that will mean that you are back in your script, and it’s time to stop. Or discuss other ways to stop/switch the course of the game. And also discuss what each of you can do to make the situation change. How can you help each other with this. These actions will help you take an important step in getting out of the negative scenarios in your relationship and restoring intimacy and unity as a couple. And if you want to radically improve your relationship and systematically work on it, sign up for my program for married couples “Closeness and Partnership”. Sincerely, Your psychologist Anton Ustinov If you want to analyze your individual case and find a solution, then sign up for a consultation Telegram, WhatsApp +7 926 010 80 82