I'm not a robot

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I'm not a robot

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A month ago, at my training, at the very beginning, I was asked the question: “Why do people go to trainings again?” And I didn’t even find an answer right away))) How to explain what these two -It’s impossible to change your WHOLE life in three days? Why isn’t this a magic wand? Yes, a lot will change: the attitude towards loved ones, towards work, towards life in general. And most importantly, the attitude towards oneself! But not ALL life. If a person has lived according to the same scenario all his life, with the same stereotypes and patterns of behavior... If there were painful moments in his life from which he closed himself off and now does not allow himself to feel.. .If he simply does not understand what the words that are full of the Internet about Self-Love and Self-Acceptance mean. And all this love for him/her consists of an expensive manicure, trips to the sea and a new car... But the drive from the purchase passes and again there is emptiness... If... So many “ifs”... How to explain to a beautiful , an intelligent, chic woman who has read many books on psychology, who has more than one higher education, that happiness is unlikely to come “over the head.” And you won’t begin to love and accept yourself just by reading positive affirmations and listening to webinars. How? How did I come to understand this myself? Only through experience. It took almost ten years to finally love myself differently. To allow yourself to make mistakes. Allow yourself to be “wrong”. And this is not about loving myself when I’m “white and fluffy.” This is about loving myself, even when I’m angry with my child or ready to kill my husband. And then I imagine how indignant many might be: “How? Is it possible to love yourself for this?” “That’s right, love is not for something. And just love. Realizing that I am angry and this can hurt the child. But admitting your anger and talking about it to him. So I tell him now: “I love you. But now I’m angry that I again have to iron your things, which are wrinkled because they were stuffed into a shelf. And I’m late.” And the child understands that he is loved, but for mom it will be better if you hang them on hangers. But in order to be able to say this calmly, you need to learn to track your feelings, be aware of them and... live... But from consulting experience I see that this can only be taught eye to eye . Through the experience of the therapist (training leader) and his condition. It’s like initiation))) I can’t find another word yet. Initiation to the next level of relationship with oneself. ..So why do people go to trainings again and again? They go for the condition of the trainer. Not for his mind, knowledge and, not even for his tools. A person needs a condition. Therefore, I answer this question: “Because the condition is still not fixed." And how to fix it? This is a topic for another conversation. Although I’ll give you a hint: “Learn to listen to yourself"...

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