If you wake up every morning with this phrase, you have professional burnout syndrome, and there is no doubt about it. A woman came to me for consultation with exactly this symptom. We worked with the “Personal Boundaries” and “Healing the Inner Child” decks of metaphorical association cards. And this is the result. My client's name is Nadezhda (name changed for ethical reasons). She has her own business - small but successful. The income is stable. Relationships in the team are good. There are no global problems in the family. Nadezhda: — I have always loved my job. I was interested in finding something new. I attended training seminars, and then put everything I learned into practice. And then it seemed like she burned out... Not right away, of course. First came laziness and boredom. I went to work happily, but by lunchtime I was wondering when this day would end. Then this thought “lived” in me since the morning. And now everything inside me just screams: “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO WORK.” I haven’t lost interest in it, but I don’t want to work. Moreover, I allow myself to rest; I always go somewhere twice a year. I love theaters, walks, and swim a lot. But after vacation and weekends, you don’t want to go to work even more. I suggest finding a card of her condition in the deck. Nadezhda:—I have the feeling that I am trying to drag a person across the abyss to my island. My island is better than his. And he seems to want to come here too, he even extends his hand. But I have the impression that he is waiting for me to reach him. And he himself, other than an outstretched hand, shows little initiative. I am very scared. If I reach out to him even more, I will fall into this abyss and die. I hold on to my island with all my strength. I ask her a question: - What happened before this situation arose? Nadezhda: - The girl lived on her island and rejoiced at everything that happened there. She brought beauty and created comfort. The young man lived on his island, he “launched” it. It was somehow lifeless there. But at the same time he did nothing to revitalize the island. He envied the girl that she had such a cool island. He sat for a while and began to whine: “That’s how good you are, and I’m sitting here unhappy, useless to anyone.” The girl invited him to move in with her. But he refused: “You have no conscience! I can't even move from my spot. You drag me to yourself. I am still able to extend my hand, but you must do the rest yourself.” The girl felt very ashamed. How can she live so well, rejoice and have fun when someone else is feeling so bad? And she rushed to drag him to her island. She tried very hard, but everything was wrong for him: either he didn’t extend his hand correctly, or he had to build a boat to come for him. My next question: - What will happen next? Nadezhda: - One option: the girl will spit on the young man, will stop extending her hand to him, but she will no longer be able to have fun and rejoice as before. She will always think that she did not help him, and this will make her feel guilty. The second option: she will make a boat, sail to another island, pick up the young man and bring him to her. True, he will interfere with her sailing with his advice and criticism, he will make the island a trash heap, and she will rush around her favorite place, trying to maintain order, beauty, and comfort. And from her own powerlessness she will soon give up. Me: “Your story turns out to be interesting.” What do you think it has to do with your problem - “I don’t want to go to work”? Nadezhda: - I’m a girl in the first scenario. I’m sitting on my island and I can’t be happy, and I feel guilty that I didn’t give this happy life to someone else. At work, I try to make everyone feel good and comfortable, so that they too are happy. I just now realized that my employees do nothing, but only demand things from me. I have a beauty salon. They always tell me that the chairs are not right, that the cleaning lady does not clean well... No matter what I do, the cart is still there. There are no more clients, they sometimes leave dissatisfied. The employees believe that everything is my fault. I ask the question: - How wouldDid you name this picture? Nadezhda: - Useless help. Me: - What do you expect from this situation? Nadezhda: - The young man will get up and do something himself to sail to my island. He will make a boat, build a bridge... He has everything he needs for this on the island. I suggest: - Choose one card blindly and use it to answer the question: what story do you hold on to so tenaciously? What kind of story is this that you can’t be happy when someone is feeling bad? And why is it necessary to make others happy without their active participation? Nadezhda: Something very alarming is happening behind the wall, and I have to be on alert. I can't have fun and do my own things. Firstly, I might miss something very scary. And when this terrible thing happens, or rather, will happen, I need to intervene and prevent it. True, I don’t know how. Secondly, if I unstick myself from the wall and mind my own business, then those behind the wall will come and say that I am unscrupulous, that they have a very important matter, and I am disturbing them with my fun I ask a question: - What story from your life - maybe from childhood - does this resemble? Nadezhda: - Mom and Dad often sorted things out. But these were not scandals, they swore in a whisper, but they swore somehow very terribly. I didn’t know or hear what they were arguing about. But there was a feeling that “a terrible horror” could happen. I didn’t know what he looked like, but it reminded me of something like both parents would disappear and I would be left completely alone. And when this horror came, I had to run to them and do whatever I could to get them to stop their “finding out.” I was also very much afraid that dad would get angry and start destroying everything. “Everything in a row” means my mother too, and then me too. It's a very strange feeling though. I have never seen dad aggressive or fight. Rather, he was awkward and shy. And the second story: when I behaved noisily, from the point of view of adults, they told me: “Shut up, sit down.” Me: “What is pulling you back?” What question did you not find an answer to then? Nadezhda: Why children should always do what their parents say. And when children do what they want, parents don’t like it, they get angry and punish the children. Me: — What conclusion did you draw then? Nadezhda: — You only have to do what you’re told, you can’t do anything “of your own.” Everything you do yourself is stupid. If I do what I like, they will get angry and punish me. Mom punished me with silence, it was terrible. I suggest finding a card for a child who must do what the parents say. Me: What can you say about this child? What is he like? Nadezhda: — This is a very frightened child. He is afraid to do something. No matter what she does, she will still do “wrong” and “wrong”, and she will be to blame for everything. I suggest finding another card: - This will be the card of a child who does not feel guilty and we can enjoy life. Nadezhda: “It’s like I don’t have enough dad’s permission to do what I want and have fun.” My mother always raised me. She didn’t let him near me, she thought that he couldn’t take care of me well enough. Me: “Let’s now imagine that dad takes the crying girl in his arms.” What would he tell her, how would he reassure her? Nadezhda: “He would say that he loves me very much.” And it is very important for him that I be cheerful, do whatever I want, and he will look after me. When I need his help and support, he will help. Me: - How do you feel now? Has something changed in relation to work? Nadezhda: — I have a desire to go to work and do something good and fun there. Not for anyone, but just like that! We talked a little more about what fun things we could do. And the client went to implement her plans. *A short digression: professional burnout syndrome is emotional exhaustion that occurs during prolonged work stress. It would seem that every person can understand and feel when he is on the edge, but this does not always work out. This term was first introduced by the American psychologist Herbert Freudenberger. He identified to them a personality disorder that arose in people?