How to distinguish self-love from selfishness and narcissism? Such thoughts sometimes torment those who strive to accept and love themselves. How not to overdo it and not slide into selfishness? image created using the Kandinsky neural network According to my observations, this question is usually asked by precisely those people who are too afraid of offending another person, often even to their own detriment. It never occurs to selfish people to worry about others! We can identify the following typical signs of self-dislike, self-love and selfishness: Self-dislike: this is a long-term dissatisfaction of one’s needs, often even the most basic; sacrificing one’s interests to others, postponing them for “later”; allowing others to violate their personal boundaries, excessive patience (while irritation accumulates inside). In case of failure in something - self-criticism, self-criticism, accumulation of negative emotions. Self-love: the desire to satisfy one’s needs when such an opportunity presents itself; respect for one’s desires and needs, the desire to realize them taking into account current circumstances. If personal boundaries are violated, calmly explain the situation, defend them firmly, confidently and calmly. In case of failure in something - accepting your feelings, accepting your share of responsibility, supporting yourself. Selfishness: immediate satisfaction of your needs at any cost, regardless of anything. Manipulating others, striving for immediate fulfillment of all one’s desires; complete disregard for the feelings of others. Personal boundaries are aggressively defended; defense turns into attack. In case of failure in something, blaming everyone around, “pouring out” all feelings on the “culprits” of difficulties, justifying any of your actions with the mistakes of others. For example, painful narcissism is not self-love. It's an unhealthy obsession to be perfect and get as much attention as possible. Such people are called narcissists. They strive at all costs to prove to others that they are perfect in everything, using any means. At the same time, they experience a strong fear of exposure. A narcissistic person hides his true self, because in fact he does not love himself as he is. I hope that now, with examples, it has become clearer how true self-love differs from selfishness. Those who learn to love and accept themselves, in my opinion, need not worry that they will overdo it - attentiveness to others will still remain, but it will become more reasonable, taking into account their own interests. Therefore, there is no need to be afraid of turning into an egoist. It is much more important to make self-love a permanent skill that will last a lifetime! Sincerely, psychologist Irina Zhueva. I will be grateful for your Thank you and feedback if you liked the article! My Telegram channel https://t.me/irinazhuevapsy VK group https://vk.com/familypsyhologya