Many people face such a problem as the inability to refuse. Are they offering them something that they don’t need, are they asking for a service that they don’t want to provide, are they expecting activity where they don’t want to do anything... The inability to say “no” becomes a real stumbling block. Such a person either agrees, feeling terrible, or musters the courage to rudely refuse. Feeling even worse about it. After all, in fact, he is not rude, not bad, not evil. I just didn’t want to do this so much that it seemed like there was no other way than to be rude. The stress of one’s own refusal in this form is so great that the next time the person restrains himself even more and agrees to what he does not want. Until the next outburst of irritation. It turns out to be literally a vicious circle. Whether you like it or not, don’t dare refuse (if you want to feel normal). What to do? There are several key points here, and we will look at the first of them now. In order to refuse without embarrassment, you need to clearly understand that you have the right to do this. What does it mean to have the right to something? What is law anyway? Wikipedia offers a definition of law as a legal term. In this context, law has the following characteristics: Normativity (establishes rules of conduct of a general nature); Generally binding (the action applies to everyone or a large range of subjects); Guaranteed by the state (backed by measures of state coercion); Intellectual-volitional character (law expresses will and consciousness people) Of course, we are talking about live communication, and not court proceedings. But even this excerpt can give a clue. A right is something that everyone has. This is something that gives a guarantee. And it exactly reflects our will. Here it is important not to go to the other extreme - asserting your will, contrary to the will of someone else. You can say that I have the right to whatever I want, as long as it does not infringe on the rights of another person. This is where the confusion begins again. So how can I figure out where my right is and how to rely on it when refusing? This is where you need to do some work with yourself. We will start from the fact that all people are equal. Everyone has the same rights to life, health, and property. And no one can encroach on your property without breaking the law. I am now talking more about the psychological law, which is even stricter than the legal one. Lawyers can be deceived, but the psyche never can. Retribution in the form of guilt, shame, depression, broken relationships, etc. will not take long to come. You need to understand what exactly is your property. I'll give you a hint. This is your body. Your time. Your thoughts. Your feelings. This is something you have an absolute right to. That is, no one can demand your body from you (come into intimacy with you when you don’t want to. Take your hand. Touch you. Stand too close. Take your things). After all, we often find it awkward to even move further away from an unpleasant neighbor in line. Although he takes up too much space with his smell, or loud voice, or otherwise penetrates our personal space. Or you don’t like hugging, but someone is constantly reaching out to you. I'm not even talking about more intimate contacts. I don't want to be here - there's a good reason. You also have the right to your thoughts. You don't have to change them if someone wants you to. You don't have to think in unison with someone. You have the right to change your mind. You have the right to make mistakes and be mistaken. You have the right to simply remain silent and not share what you think. You also have the right to your feelings. You have the right to be upset and not smile when you don’t want to. You have the right not to adapt to someone else’s mood. You have the right to hide your feelings. You have the right to express your feelings. You have the right to feel differently than someone else next to you. And you have a right to your time. Don't waste it on a boring phone conversation. You have the right to spend your time as you please..