From the author: The article or any part of it cannot be copied and reproduced in any information system without the permission of the author. Copying, reproduction and other use of an article or part of it without the consent of the author is illegal and entails criminal, administrative and civil liability. All articles are regularly checked for Anti-Plagiarism. Quite often I have to work with people who, in the good old psychoanalytic tradition, look for the source of their neuroses in childhood and parents. But the cause of neurosis and all pressing problems is not in childhood, but in the fact that a person is not ready to take responsibility for accepting this and developing further on his own. Yes, there was an incident in childhood, there was trauma, no one argues. Yes, it was a programming conflict that influenced some of the person’s subsequent reactions. But, in the end, we are able to reinstall our programs ourselves. I came across this idea that people are not ready to accept the fact that parents are not omnipotent, they are not Gods, and they should not fulfill the roles that we give them. Mom is to blame for the fact that: she didn’t listen, didn’t love, didn’t kiss, didn’t speak, didn’t do, didn’t teach... Dad is to blame for: didn’t participate, didn’t interfere, drank, beat... And there are a huge number of these demands. But, let's think for a moment, do all our mothers have a degree in psychology to help their child with his mental trauma? Or maybe all mothers studied at pedagogical institutes and studied the latest methods of education? Or maybe all parents have 30 years of personal psychotherapy behind them, they are always conscious, balanced, and know the answers to all questions? Of course not. Parents only look big, but they themselves can be traumatized, unhappy and lacking in intelligence. This excerpt from the film "I Am Sam", in my opinion, is a good illustration of the fact that parents also have their limits, and cannot always combine the best. And one day we will have to face the fact that we need to meet the gray wolf, the serpent Gorynych and Baba Yaga ourselves, and sometimes even unprepared. And when a person takes the position: “Mom and dad must know everything, must do everything perfectly and must teach me everything,” then, unfortunately, he risks: 1) getting stuck at the level of development where his parents stopped; 2) remaining irresponsible person; 3) carry your childhood traumas and grievances until the end of your days, never having learned anything. Little Lucy’s resistance “You can’t, and I don’t want to either” is very similar to how clients resist in therapy. Admitting that I have become more mature and more aware than my parents, that they were wrong, that they are weak in some way, is a rather difficult and painful step. There's another good line in the movie: When Lucy is told that her dad can't take care of her because of his limited mental abilities, she replies, "All we need is love." Accept from your parents what they are able to give you, learn to see their love in everything they do, and get the rest from your teachers, friends, loved ones. And you are still offended by your parents?