Client case “Take care of your heart!” I share with the permission of the Client. Our therapy ended several months ago and I am pleased to talk not only about its results, but also about the more distant “consequences.” The work was carried out using the technique of emotional-imaginative therapy by N. D. Linde. A girl came to me with this request - her relationship with a young man was on the verge of breaking up, but at the same time she doesn’t want to lose him because she loves him, but - I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I constantly humiliate him, criticize him, pick on him, myself I lead to a scandal, and then, when he explodes and leaves, I regret my behavior and am afraid that one day he will not return to me. - How do you think you really feel about him? You humiliate and criticize on the matter, is there any reason for this that is obvious to you? - I clarified. - Yes, I love him very much, no reason, it’s like something bad inside me is pushing me to do all this, like some kind of dark power. By agreement with the Client, we switched to “you”. - How do you feel it - this power? - It’s like it envelops my heart. - What does it look like, imagine what it looks like now? - It’s a black film wrapped around the heart like tape, and on it sits a gnome in a hat and shoots long metal needles. - Who wrapped your heart, this gnome? - I clarify. - Yes, he is trying to protect me! - From whom? - From everyone, from pain. - Is he kind? What does he look like? - He is scary in appearance, ugly, wears a huge hat, he has very piercing eyes, he is very concentrated. Vika (the Client’s name has been changed) thought for a moment, and then added, - But this is all just to protect me, in general he is kind and he loves me.” “Who does he shoot at with these needles?” I continued to study the image. “Those who are approaching,” the girl shrugged. - To you or to him? “Come to us,” Victoria smiled. - Do I understand correctly that this gnome is part of you or is it some kind of “alien” protector? - Yes, he's mine! At least, it seems to me that he was always with me! My hypothesis was that this protection is a consequence of a parental instruction - do not get close. This instruction is often non-verbally, and sometimes quite directly in human language, transmitted to the child, for example, by the mother who suffers after the loss of her husband due to divorce or his death. At the unconscious level, the child imprints a certain connection between the manifestation of feelings, intimacy and the pain that comes as a result of the loss of this contact. Vicky’s mother went through a painful divorce when the girl was 3 years old. The conclusion is simple and the decision is made unconsciously, but quite firmly - don’t get close, don’t show feelings, this it can be very painful! I asked Vika to change into the image of a gnome in order to identify with him and asked questions - When and why did Vika have him? What benefit does she have? The image of a gnome in emotionally figurative therapy, most often, symbolizes the Inner Child. The gnome answered, “I protect her so that it doesn’t hurt!” I help her not show feelings and fight off attempts to “get into” her heart so as not to kill it! It’s always better to be a little painful than unbearable later. This justified the devaluation of feelings and the partner himself that took place in Vika’s relationship. The lower the value, the easier it is to part with it. At the same time, breaking up means protecting yourself from inevitable even greater pain in the future! “Who told you this?” I asked. “I know it myself, I saw it,” Vika was silent for a while, and then said, “It’s as if I hear the words of a gnome in myself, and the voice of my mother, “Take care of your heart so that it doesn’t break!” I asked Vika to return to her place and imagine the image of the mother who is says. “Please tell mom this: mom, I allow you to feel, show feelings, love, be alive, don’t be afraid to get closer and open your heart!” I know it’s safe! - Mom’s image seemed to become younger, more cheerful, her clothes from a warm dark elongated shapeless sweater were transformed into a light summer dress with a flower. The paradoxical resolution works very effectively. When we