Failure to cope, uncontrollability. Failed/failed to cope, powerlessness, weakness, futility, tears, anger, shame and guilt. The desire to have time to do/implement everything. Control. Protection. ______________________Both here and there a person runs. In one case he runs OT, in the other K. And in both poles there is a strain on himself, in each pole there is tension. Imagine your failure. What does it look like, what I couldn’t cope with? Look visually through the image, what does it look like? What does my failure consist of? What do I push away from myself when I can’t cope? What happens to me when I can’t cope? What is/what is involved in this failure? How can I help myself? Imagine how you cope when you have time to do everything. What is this? Name it in one word. What does it look like? What does it look like? Take your time, look at it. What are you like when you managed to do everything? What is this about for you? What between you and that state did I manage to/had time to do everything? What do I want to bring closer, do I want to feel when I have time to do everything? What if I don’t have time to do everything, what’s happening to me?______________________ Failure to cope is essentially powerlessness. The misconception is that I cannot influence anything in any way. I am powerless/powerless to change this. And it’s also about control. I can't control everything, I can't control others. I can't influence others. I can only influence myself or refuse it. Both poles are about omnipotence. When a child tries to build a huge tower out of blocks, but it doesn’t work out, he is powerless to change anything. Nothing works either on the 5th or 10th attempt. And the child sheds tears of futility. He also screams and throws cubes. Angry. And what is mom doing at these moments? After the intensity of emotions, he simply strokes the back, just being nearby. And it may seem that this is a simple action... But no, this is what lies behind accepting it with its pain. So it is in our adult life, when we are faced with our powerlessness, we try to make a million attempts, we try to fight, but it doesn’t work. We suppress our tears and anger that it doesn’t work out... But does that adult shed tears? Yes, he can feel sorry for himself. But is he getting better? No. Pity nails the feeling of inferiority. How to manage everything. Trying again and again to get even a little closer to something important is sometimes futile, it doesn’t work. And again there are tears and anger... Managing everything is not about life. About the race. What are you running from? Admitting powerlessness does not mean giving up or resigning. It may even seem that next to this feeling there is despair, bitterness, hopelessness and emptiness. By accepting your powerlessness and giving up trying to manage everything, a completely new life begins. Seeing your limitations is seeing your possibilities. What do clients get when the theme of powerlessness and failure to cope is revealed? They gain the experience of acceptance that they once lacked. Photo by Alec Douglas