Have you ever given in under the pressure of another person? Giving up your positions because your opponent is behaving assertively, while thinking - “how confident he is and can stand up for himself, and how much I lack this”... Confident behavior “comes in handy” in many life situations - at work, in school , if necessary, speak publicly, in the state. institutions where you can achieve what you want only by being confident in your rights. At the same time, we often mistake aggression for confidence. Let's try to figure out what is the difference between assertive, or confident, behavior and aggressive behavior. There are three types of behavior: confident, aggressive and insecure. With insecure behavior, everything is more or less clear: confusion, lack of one’s position, passive behavior in conflict or in a decision-making situation, neglect of one’s interests, slow or lack of reaction in principle, detachment, reluctance to take responsibility - all this suggests that we are facing an insecure person. We instantly read the above signs and reactions from a person and make an internal decision on how to behave in contact. Aggressive behavior is distinguished by directly opposite traits. A person assertively defends himself, defends his interests, very quickly goes on the offensive, and is distinguished by his quick reactions. Violates the boundaries of another person, expresses his desires in the form of demands, taking into account only his own interests. Non-verbal, aggressive behavior has vivid manifestations - a tense posture, a fast, rapid gait, sudden movements, a tense or distorted facial expression, a loud voice, fast speech. A person influences the feeling of fear of conflict by “pushing”, violating the boundaries of the interlocutor. Aggressive behavior is perceived by many people as assertive or confident. If a person is able to show aggression, it means that he is confident in what he is doing and is able to defend himself, we think. But at the same time, the person will not evoke feelings of trust in us - his behavior will be read as inadequate, violating boundaries. Why is the aggressor not credible? The fact is that he constantly proves his right - to life, resources, expression of opinion, the right to vote, respect, respect for personal boundaries, and so on - all the basic rights that an integral, self-confident personality inseparably possesses. Assertive behavior has its own criteria and they have nothing to do with pressure and aggression. A confident person is distinguished by measured, calm movements, the ability to correctly and clearly express his thoughts, speech is not fast, with pauses - a person gives himself the right to collect his thoughts, think, he does not adapt to anyone, is not in a hurry, calmly defines his boundaries, interests, desires, feelings. Moderate gestures, lack of tension in the voice and body. Such a person will inspire trust because he is able to take responsibility for his actions, his thoughts, for his life. A confident person knows what he has the right to: life, freedom, resources, he has the right to make mistakes - therefore he lives without tension. He does not need to manipulate to get what he wants - he will get it in honest and direct contact, openly expressing his thoughts and desires. An insecure person lives with an internal feeling of his complete lack of rights and does not even try to defend his rights. To get something from life, he uses manipulation and, basically, turns his energy into auto-aggression, constantly experiencing feelings of guilt, feeling injustice, feeling like a victim. Awareness of one’s boundaries, the ability to designate them, knowledge of one’s rights and needs, the ability take responsibility for your life, help you achieve confident behavior, the main criterion of which is honest, open, direct contact with the outside world, in which there is no need to get your way through manipulation, aggression, or infringement of the rights of other people.