Lately a lot has been written about meeting yourself. What is it? Let's imagine the heroine Maria, who, in her familiar surroundings, experiences the same feelings every day, for example, anxiety about what will her friends, colleagues, people around her say about her? If these feelings are repeated so often, she will probably begin to think that the whispers of her colleagues in the office definitely refer to her, because today she did not wear a white blouse and does not look according to the dress code. ..and she definitely doesn’t meet the company’s standards, which means they can make a reprimand, and maybe fire her... And on the weekend, a friend invited her to go to a cafe, but Maria’s thoughts revolve around the fact that she doesn’t have enough money, and if she doesn’t If she goes, she will look in the eyes of her friend as unresponsive and indifferent. And because of her worries, she has to go, her mood deteriorates. She thinks that she is becoming ungrateful, and every trip to work or to meet friends is difficult. This bothers her so much that the conversation with her friend doesn’t go well, her work falls out of her hands, and people pay less and less attention to her. And Maria concludes that she is incapable of anything, useless and of no interest to anyone. Just the thought of what they will think of me creates low self-esteem, and if you go deeper - neurosis. Here I would like to reveal this neurotic, malicious circle into which my heroine found herself. The reason begins with the fact that perhaps one day she heard the words of a restless mother addressed to her, when Maria was, for example, about 10 years old: “Something, daughter, I see how girls smooth out their uniforms and go to school neatly, but for you, No matter how you look, your jacket is crumpled, or you didn’t have time to put on a white blouse, I’m worried about what the teachers will think of us!” Mom’s experiences, and the girl develops a Conviction about herself - I cause unpleasant experiences, I am irresponsible. And life spins this circle, like a ball of wool, with fears: “What will they say about me?” And day after day, story after story, the girl forms a belief about herself - “I’m uninteresting.” She would like to feel differently, but doesn't know how? She would like to feel beautiful, pleasant, attractive, interesting, but all her attempts to do something about it are stopped by the fear of the very feeling that arises when she thinks: “What will the people around me think of me?” 0It would seem that this story is about a girl’s self-esteem. Raise her self-esteem and the issue of her fears was resolved, but that was not the case. This story is about condition, not skill. This story is about self-awareness, the inner core on which self-esteem is built. Let's figure it out. Imagine an old cabinet covered with a layer of dust, and under the dust there are multiple layers of paint and varnish that have been coated many times to update it. This closet can be used as a metaphor to reveal the idea that the problem of my heroine Maria develops not in the outside world, her interaction with the environment, but inside her consciousness. And on the field of consciousness there is a game of two “I”. Where one * Y1 has internal resources that Maria is poorly aware of. And the second * Self 2 is formed by accepting and believing in the messages of the Parental figure and close circle. Throughout life, personalities, anxieties, fears, and value judgments are layered on top of each other, like dust and paint on an old cabinet, and as a result, a person often has to wonder: what is the true Self? What will a person find if he removes the layers of obsessive thoughts, fears, criticism imposed on the inner self? A Over the years of my practice, I have discovered that all people are naturally endowed with amazing internal abilities, natural and productive. But when *I 2 dominates, access to them is closed. This is what happened with Maria, having believed in her parents’ message, she did not have time to learn about L1, it did not reveal itself and did not develop. And Self 2 became dominant and blocking. As soon as I discovered this battlefield, I began my journey towards ME. This is not an easy, but interesting path in therapy. Having gone through it myself, I now help my clients survive this.