I’ve been wearing a jacket for many years... It’s worn out for a long time and it’s not new... And I call a tailor to me... And I ask him to alter the suit... I tell him jokingly : “Redraw everything differently... Promises me new luck... The art of cutting and sewing” (Bulat Okudzhava) There is an Italian fairy tale (“Evil Fate”), about how one royal family suffered a difficult fate - war, exile, poverty... From the old witch the queen learns that all these troubles are connected with the fact that one of their daughters has an evil fate that will never allow either them or the girl to be happy. In order to protect the rest of the family from hardship, the girl leaves her family. She wanders and does the most difficult and thankless work. But every time luck turns away from her - troubles, problems, losses and failures pursue her with rare persistence. On the advice of a wise woman, the princess decides to face her destiny. “And here comes the destiny of Sfortuna. Oh, what a look she had! Her gray hair hung in dirty tufts, her hooked nose was stained with soot, her dress was torn to shreds. The young princess was already almost sixteen years old, and one could swear that in all these years her fate had never changed. “Why did you come?” - the old woman grumbled when she saw Sfortuna. “When I need it, I’ll find you myself.” For now, get away." But the heroine was strong and brave - she was not afraid and did not retreat. “As soon as fate approached Sfortuna, the girl grabbed her tightly by the hands and dragged her to the stream. Well, the old woman screamed when Sfortuna rubbed her with a soapy sponge. “I don’t want to wash myself!” I don't want to wash! - she screamed, breaking free. But Sfortuna did not pay attention to her cries. She washed her fate clean, combed her hair, put on a new beautiful dress, put on new creaky shoes and poured the entire bottle of rose oil on her. Oh, what a sweet, kind old lady now stood in front of her! And she smelled like ten rose bushes. It’s a well-known fact that all women, even the oldest ones, love new outfits. Fate couldn't stop looking at itself. Every now and then she straightened the frills on her skirt, creaked her new shoes, tried on her shawl. “You are my clever girl,” she said to Sfortuna. - It just so happens: if a person has an evil fate, all he knows is that he complains and curses it. So she becomes even angrier. It would never occur to anyone that they should try to make their destiny more beautiful. You, my little dove, did just that. Now everything will go well for you. Thank you for the gifts, accept a gift from me too.” Since then, the princess lived happily ever after, reunited with her family and married the prince. What does image therapy have to do with it? It has long been noticed that for many people, deep positive personal changes begin with changes in their appearance. An old suit is not suitable for a new sense of self (and then for a new life). A practical step to bring about these changes is a change of image. “What other image?” – you say, “Image is nothing! Image is a picture, and picture books are only for children.” Oh, really. I don’t think so... Francis Bacon also wrote: “The best characteristic of a man is his attractive appearance.” Why? Subconsciously, people believe that “great form is equal to good content.” Moreover, if you think that “image” is only a change in appearance, then you are very naive. Yes, an image is, first of all, a “picture” - “an illustration of our personality,” but it is the external that expresses the internal... “Creating an image is “entertainment” for public people: politicians and movie stars”? “What does “image” have to do with us? We’re not running for president”...But you’re in vain. “We are all “PENCILS”. Everyone draws their own destiny, some break down, some are dull, and some sharpen themselves and move forward...” (joke). So, what is “image”? There are so many definitions it doesn’t have. This is “mask”, and “role”, and “type”, and “idea of ​​someone’s internal appearance”, etc., but the closest meaning to me is “image” (the word “image” comes from English “image” - “image”). “Image is an imagea person, including appearance, behavior, communication, etc., contributing to the impact on others.” (New explanatory and word-formative dictionary of the Russian language. Author T. F. Efremova). “Image” can be interpreted as a symbolic image or symbolic perception of a person by other people, his public “I”. This is the “calling card” of the Self, the “facade” that you show to the world. “Persona”. Is image important? Do we need to think about our “image”? Indeed, image, as a purposefully formed image, is of interest, first of all, to people who make a public career. And an image maker is a specialist in creating unique means of expression, forming one or another impression about a person. When creating an image, he takes into account the “texture” or appearance of a person (physique, parameters and proportions of the figure, facial features, skin color, etc.), selects the appropriate “archetypal image” (for example, “ hero”, “martyr”, “mother”, “wizard”, etc.) and convincing “packaging”: clothes, shoes, hats, makeup, hairstyle, etc., “entourage” - the world of things and objects , with which a person surrounds himself (interior, car, telephone, accessories). In addition, the image maker works with facial expressions, plasticity, speech, etc., creates a “story” (“legend”) - thinks through and “competently designs” information that we then learn about the person (name, education, age, facts from his biographies, hobbies, etc.) Most people do not use the services of image makers, but everyone has an image. And not even alone. The set of personal images of a person is determined by the number of those social groups in which the impression of him is formed. Therefore, a family member has a family image, a working person has a business image, etc., because in life we ​​play many social roles. We can be at the same time a wife, mother, lover, boss and subordinate... And each of us, at one time or another, as a rule, wears “social masks” - tries to create one or another image that meets the needs of those around us. “Mask” is a way of adaptation to social reality. For many people, wearing a mask is easier than defending their individuality... Let’s take a closer look at “professional masks.” Society needs a doctor, a teacher, a waiter, etc., but it does not need an individual, in all its diversity. And then, in order to “win” against life, you cannot do without a mask in this game: the role dictates the mask. Each role has its own image - a “suit”: a manner of “presenting” oneself in society. “Let’s look at this waiter in a cafe. His movements are fast and confident, a little too swift and precise, he approaches the visitors a little faster than necessary, he bows before them too obligingly, his voice, his eyes express too much attention to what the client will say, but here he is returns, imitating with his gait the refined movements of a certain automaton, carrying his tray with the recklessness of a tightrope walker, which is in an unstable balance, which he constantly restores with a slight movement of his shoulder and hand. All his behavior reminds us of a game. He tries to make his movements combine with each other, like the parts of a mechanism driving each other, even his facial expressions and voice seem mechanical; he gives himself the speed and swiftness of inanimate objects. He plays, he has fun. But what is he playing? We won’t need to watch him for long to answer this question: he’s playing waiter in a cafe.” Jean-Paul Sartre A well-chosen image helps us fit into our professional role and be socially successful in it. Take a therapist who posts his data on a search site specialists. What do we usually see? Photos, personal page, articles, forum posts, etc. How is the client’s image of a specialist (whom he has never heard of before) formed? The simplest “scheme”: a client looking for a therapist perceives the external and (or) internal characteristics of another person (for example, the client sees a therapist in a photo, reads information about him, articles andetc.), as a result of this perception, he has an image of this specialist, which, usually, involuntarily correlates with the client’s own value system, where it is “written down” what is “good” and what is “bad” in the world. For the majority (not all!) clients have it “written down” in their psyche: “the female therapist in the photo in a sexy mini-dress, with a mohawk and gothic-style makeup” is “very bad”, “the therapist has a lot of evidence of his qualifications (titles, diplomas, certificates) - this is very good”, “the therapist not having a family” is not very good”, “a young therapist is bad”, etc.). As a result, a person develops an attitude towards this specialist in the form of an opinion (the client, leaving the site, thinks: “yes, in my opinion, this is a good therapist, I would turn to him” or “no, this is a bad therapist, what is he doing on this site?”...). The image that a certain group of people (for example, website clients) has about a person is the image of this person. Of course, from the point of view of reality, this is a controversial opinion (for example, the presence of titles or positions indicates rather good theoretical and social training. activity than about the practical experience of the therapist and his ability to help this particular client), but, nevertheless, this is an opinion on the basis of which a person develops (or does not develop) trust in this specialist. Therefore, a person’s image is how he looks in the eyes of others (other people's opinion of him). Even if you don't think about it, you are still dealing with other people's perceptions of you. Society invites everyone to either create an image, or it will do it for him. In any new company, from the first minutes you catch interested glances, as if asking: “Who are you?”, “Friend or foe?”, “Is it worth doing business with you?” etc. People want to decide how to behave with you, identify you, place you in a certain category. Therefore, image is important. It's like a door that you want to enter or not... When a person has a certain opinion about another, it shapes his willingness to act in relation to that person in a certain way. In the language of psychologists, such readiness is called a psychological attitude. The opinion of others about you will also determine their psychological readiness to act in relation to you in a certain way (and act, sometimes on a subconscious level, without thinking about the reasons). “Image is the secret record of the stream of mass consciousness” (V. Gorchakova)... “Our consciousness summarizes numerous, sometimes contradictory information about someone, and about ourselves too, in the form of an image, which, like an archived file, is sent to the storage rooms of memory for reliable storage. This file, reduced to the level of a single image, carries a colossal amount of information associated with it, both rational, emotional, and effective. Through an image, associations, if necessary, it is retrieved from our memory almost instantly and helps to perceive, understand and evaluate the bearer of this image almost accurately and, accordingly, communicate with him” (V. Gorchakova). How do we “read” information about another person? What “gives” each of us away? The slightest movement in the voice, such as intonation, tone, facial expression, words used, clothing and, at first glance, random body movements - everything is full of meaning and not accidental. With the help of these indicators, people “measure each other” and draw conclusions about the personal qualities, social and educational level, and abilities of the other person. All this provides live information about who he is - the bearer of the image, and what can be expected from him in the future. “We fill the physical outline of the person we see with all the ideas we have already built about him, and in the final image of him, which we create in our minds, these ideas, of course, take center stage. In the end they fit so tightly to the contours of his cheeks, so precisely follow the curve of his nose, so harmoniously combinedwith the sound of his voice, that it all seems to be nothing more than a transparent shell, so that every time we see a face or hear a voice, we recognize in it nothing other than our own ideas” (Proust). Can our opinion about a person change? Of course, they say: “you are greeted by your clothes, you are seen off by your mind,” but at the same time, it is believed that “the first impression is the strongest,” and you “will never have a second chance to make a first impression” (C. Chanel). Conclusion : Reliance on image is necessary both in the profession and in personal life. Image is a message addressed to someone and somewhere, for something and for some reason. And it is important that the “letter” reaches the addressee and is correctly understood. So, is image everything to us? Society needs a standard (understandable) performer of the function, but do we need social success? The main thing is to find a good image maker? Not everything is so simple. As in any game, it is important not to “play around” in this one, otherwise, at some point a person realizes: “I have faces for all occasions. I no longer remember how and when they were born. These faces always helped me escape from pain and humiliation. As soon as I found myself in a situation in which I could even hypothetically suffer a defeat of my dignity, I opened the doors of my inner wardrobe and, pushing aside the hangers and meticulously examining my collection of faces, I chose the most suitable face for this case and put it in front of me like a shield . Once upon a time, I had to come up with the next face in advance, practice wearing it so that my true nature did not accidentally peek out from behind its edges. I trained my gait so that the face I held in front of me would not sway, I carefully sealed the cracks in it after meetings with others so that what was behind it did not show through. Just in case, I wore them at a decent distance from myself, so that the enemy’s word, even if it pierced the shield, would not reach me. Quite often my face met with a wooden thud with the same face of another person. There was something soothing and familiar about it, and I never felt the need to look behind someone else’s face - it’s too uncomfortable, holding your face and trying to look behind someone else’s through it - you can’t hold your own for long. With some people it was possible to bump faces for quite a long time and not feel discomfort. Our faces had something to talk about, but we, in general, had nothing to talk about... Therefore, when I realized that everything on the other’s face was already familiar to me, I became bored. And my face has been studied for a long time: even color, tightly fitted boards, length, width, surface roughness. I have nothing to offer my acquaintance and nothing to take from him... And I never liked people without shields. I was always overcome with fear and nausea when I saw them naked - it was such an unsightly sight! Why weren't they smart enough to care about the eyes of others? I could never understand this. Over the years, I've built up some pretty strong muscles to hold the faces, those heavy wooden things, around me in a circular defense. After all, this is real art, not everyone can master it like that! But even I, a trained porter, began to get tired, and I even began to lose my face - I think this is old age? These were moments of extreme humiliation. It seemed like how did I survive after this? Now I'm really tired of holding them. They're falling and there's nothing I can do about it. And I'm scared because my body is so numb from the strain of supporting the weight of my faces that I can no longer feel it. It seems to me that I am dying along with my faces. I am afraid that the day will come when my last face will fall and break, and then there will be nothing left but me - that pitiful creature that stood behind the faces..." (N. Rubshtein. "Faces Are Falling") Many all They strive to “shove” themselves into the “suit of a socially successful person.” And then it turns out like in the famous parable: “A handsome, ambitious, but not very rich young man really wanted to sew himself an expensive suit from a famous tailor. When he finally managed to save up. the necessary amount, he ordered a suit, and now it’s timethe long-awaited day when he was supposed to pick up the finished order. Before picking up the suit, the guy put it on himself and looked in the mirror. The seams, the fabric, everything was great, but - oh horror! – the left hem of the jacket was longer than the other. - What is this!? – the young man cried out in despair. The tailor said quite calmly: “It’s not scary.” If you pull the short floor down a little, the floors will be level. Just don’t lower your left hand. The young man continued his inspection and discovered that one shoulder of the jacket was higher than the other. He looked reproachfully at the tailor, but he calmly said: “If you tilt your head to the side and raise your shoulder a little, then everything will visually align.” When the young man put on his trousers, he saw that everything was wrong here too. However, the tailor said quite calmly: - You can bend your left knee a little when walking, then the trouser legs will look exactly the same, and in a sitting position nothing will be noticeable at all. The young man was in despair, but he spent all the money he had saved, and the tailor had an impeccable reputation; all the famous people in the city sewed he had, and no one ever complained. Therefore, the young man paid the remaining amount and went out into the street in a ready-made suit. Nearby, two regulars were sitting at a table in a street cafe. One of them said to the other: “Look, he’s a nice guy, but how crooked and limping he is.” It’s a pity for the poor guy! To this the second one answered him: “Yes, it’s a pity for the guy, but what a chic, impeccable suit he’s wearing!” I wonder how much money he paid for it?” In real life everything is exactly the same. Some people only see the “suit”. At the same time, they are not at all interested in what is underneath. For them, the only thing that matters is what “a person has achieved.” Representatives of this category of people would happily agree to “become a cripple” just to put on such a “suit made by a famous tailor.” And it doesn’t matter that it “squeezes” and “bites” into the skin: it forces a person to lead a life that does not suit him... So the image of a successful person (in the opinion of others - successful!) - is this bad? Of course not. In many cases he is a good helper. He teaches us to “appear better”, to meet the requirements of society. This is our “suit for growth”. But sometimes this assistant demands an exorbitant fee for such a disguise. We become so accustomed to one role, one image, that after a while it completely “absorbs” us. I remember an anecdote about an actor who for many years successfully played the “bear” at children’s matinees, and then he was called to play Hamlet, and he continued to play his usual role... The mask begins to live instead of us, it dictates what needs to be done... And to defend our right to be yourself - it’s difficult, and sometimes downright scary... But how much more scary and difficult it is to live life not the way you wanted! And to realize this only at the very end of life's journey.... Inflexible compliance with the role deprives a person of spontaneity and the ability to change. A person becomes a hostage to the image and...dies as a person. “Creating an image is always an act of violence” (P. Selfing). Living: a feeling, thinking, acting person has many faces, he looks into the world with a thousand eyes, and the world in which he lives, turns to him with thousands of images, thousands of contacts, thousands of angles, man is diverse and endless... “The only one who acted wisely was my tailor. He took my measurements again every time he saw me, while the others came up to me with old standards, expecting that I will live up to them..." Bernard Shaw How the world is changing! And how I myself am changing! I am called by only one name, In fact, what is called me is not me alone. There are a lot of us. I am alive, So that my blood does not have time to cool, I have died more than once. Oh, how many dead bodies I separated from my own body! (Nikolai Zabolotsky “Metamorphoses”) Perhaps it is convenient for society to artificially remove from the image performed by a person (for example, the same professional) everything individual that distinguishes him from a series of similar ones. It forces a person to follow strict rules of behavior, trying to fit everyone into a stereotype (saving effort spent on cognition),but, after all... the main role of a person is the role of himself, and even in the narrow space of social roles, in addition to the concept of “social (status) role,” there is the concept of “socio-psychological role.” Remember the film “Office Romance”? What description of the main character do her colleagues give? “Lyudmila Prokofyevna Kalugina is the director of our institution. We call it our mymra.” The social (status) role here is the director, and “mymra” is the socio-psychological one. And when the heroine changes her image at the end of the film, she demonstrates not only a new dress and hairstyle, but most importantly, a new socio-psychological role, still remaining in the status of a director. An example of such roles is the “femme fatale” (a “death trap” for men, sociable, attractive and seductive, which a man, having met once, will never forget. As a rule, he pays quite a lot of attention to the wardrobe, mainly “according to the Stendhal principle” - red and black. Characteristic outfit: a tight-fitting dress with a deep neckline, black stockings, high-heeled shoes) or “Gray Mouse” (nondescript, passive in communication, occupying the position of an observer, one of those who are afraid of standing out from the crowd more than anything else. Quiet. voice, hesitant gestures. Characteristic outfit: dark gray or beige knitted suit, black bag and shoes), “Dog” (two convolutions, ostentatious impudence and rudeness, does not take care of himself, loves obscene jokes, beer and women like Pamela Anderson). , does not recognize monogamous relationships) or “Botanist” (a reflective hero, scientist, intellectual. “Eternal boy” from the university with glasses sealed with tape, with hair in different directions, who has special abilities, and at the same time is spontaneous, absent-minded, forgetful and naive...), etc., “Bore” or “Soul of the party”, “Leader” or “Outsider”, etc. We have to play these roles within the framework of those social institutions (groups) in which our whole life actually takes place. But we are not “doomed” to them... In life, we rarely think about our image, sometimes we become so fused with this “second skin” that we stop noticing it. But “who” is “who” is usually felt 30 seconds after start the conversation. “Simple guy” or “High society girl”, “Winner” or “Loser” - all this appears almost immediately. And most often our perception reduces personality diversity to certain clichés, labels and stereotypes. Of course, a lot depends on the culture of the beholder, the set of his ideas about the world and people, on his internal “library of images”... Is it important to realize what image you are “broadcasting”? Of course. Being in a certain image, we “fit” into the situation in a specific way, this is our way of existence. By denoting our role - by clothing, behavior, speech, body - we invite others to play an additional one. For example, the role of a mouse presupposes the complementary role of a cat, the role of a mother implies the role of a child, etc. The roles are mutual, and is it surprising that being in the same role, we attract the same partners? Some role has stuck to us, dried up, hardened from long wear. And let the “suit” not fit the figure: but what can you do if it’s the only one in the wardrobe. There are people who cannot be shaken out of their usual formal suit (even a poorly tailored one), and there are lovers of stretched sweaters for all occasions... And everyone got into this look for a reason, not just like that. They want to say something in this image to the world and to themselves. It’s just that they rarely understand what and why... There’s no way to “refashion” the “suits” a little, taking out their strengths, because a good suit can hide something and emphasize something, but it’s scary to be left without a suit: how can you be without the usual, even if it is a “shroud” with which a person is covered?... Can you lure clichés and stiffness out of the kingdom of the dead? We put on masks every day, When we wake up in the morning we don’t know our role, And we are not too lazy to pretend again, We play at life, and we play with life. Dawn - sunset, winter and summer became just decorations in this bustle, when we were not yet born», 2006