How and when fear of error and perfectionism are formed Fear of error often turns into perfectionism - the desire to achieve an ideal result, perfection in everything. Workaholism in this case can go hand in hand, when you always have to be active, you can’t rest and relax. The fear of mistakes itself can be laid down in early childhood, when a mistake is perceived as an assessment of the child’s personality as a whole, negative beliefs are formed: “I’m bad, inept, unsuccessful , not like that, a loser.” In my case, the fear of mistakes was formed in elementary school under the influence of an authoritarian teacher with a large figure and a loud voice. I remember moments when the teacher walked between the desks, and I pressed myself into the chair and the slightest blot was accompanied by a loud shout and criticism, from which the children flinched - it was very scary to make a mistake. If parents also have traits of perfectionism and demand ideal results from the child, this complicates the picture, the child writes in a notebook, then the sheets are torn out and he rewrites it “cleanly” until there is not a single blot. And this terrible fear and desire to meet expectations, the feeling of guilt if you did not live up to expectations and the desire to be ideal for your parents and to be good in everything, do not annoy you. Where is the child himself in all this? His life, desires, true feelings, are grades really more important? I remember the moment when I took part in a reading competition at the end of the first grade and had to learn Boris Pasternak’s huge poem “Chalky, Chalk all over the Earth,” with a meaning beyond my age. Who and why needed to give this poem to a seven-year-old child is not clear. I had to perform on stage in front of a large hall, I remember being little, and this fear of forgetting the text in the middle... I came out, told it perfectly, and in the middle, of course, I faltered and again experienced a feeling of anxiety and fear - I did not live up to the teacher’s hopes... I continued and told it to the end, but I didn’t want to go on stage again, so as not to experience this “shame” again. I also remember a situation when our teacher was often sick and we missed a lot of topics, especially difficult ones Mathematics was difficult, we had to catch up, we went to study on the second shift. Then the teacher returned from sick leave and during one of the lessons, in the form of an ultimatum, she said in front of the whole class that my mother “complained” to the director that she was not teaching us at all and we didn’t know the material well and now she would be fired because of me. It was approximately the second grade - the authority of the teacher in elementary school is very high, higher than that of the parents. At home, of course, I didn’t say anything and didn’t ask my mother if she said that? And I thought that I could cope on my own, I showed my traits of perfectionism. Then I began to experience bullying from children, which was started by the teacher, only after a while it turned out that my mother did not say anything and did not intend to, anyone could have said anything and the director could find out herself. We figured it out, but the attitude on the part of the children, especially the main instigator-anti-leader, has not changed, the class is a closed system and strives for stability. This is how an adult finds an “extreme” child and asserts himself at his expense, raises his self-esteem, and forms complexes in the child. But, as Leonid Kanevsky would say in his program, “this is a completely different story.” Now this story no longer touches me, but then it was not easy, thanks to these situations, I learned to read people’s emotional reactions, I understood what I want to do in life, this situation did not make me callous, but taught me to understand people well and cope with difficulties. I've come a long way, I've learned to go at my own pace, not to expect great results from myself right away, to perceive mistakes as areas of growth and wonderful experiences, not to depend on other people's assessments, to build healthy boundaries, to notice my success, to value myself and what I do. , love people and feel their pain, rejoice from the heart at their victories, learned to relax without feeling guilty. Only when a person himself has lived through such situations -.