From the author: An adult does not need someone else’s responsibility, his own is enough for him. Instead of children's responsibility for elders, adults take responsibility for younger ones. Good afternoon! Today's article will be about growing up. Many people wonder how to finally grow up? The reasons for not growing up lie in childhood, when the child takes on someone else's responsibility. Strangely enough, it is based on a feeling of guilt. I previously wrote about this https://www.b17.ru/article/127875/ Here I will just repeat that the basis of the feeling of guilt is children's egocentrism, when a child considers himself to blame for everything that happens to him and to his environment. And before the start of school age (about 7-8 years) this is the norm, because... the sense of one’s own personality boundaries and the boundaries of another person has not been formed. Often these boundaries are not formed, for example, in the case when a parent did not take on his parental responsibility for some reason. Most often because he is also not an adult and saves his parents, and they, in turn, save their own. In this case, the child, out of great love for his parents, unknowingly takes on responsibility that does not belong to him. The adult is in the position of a victim and completely transfers responsibility for his condition and life to the child. And the child, not having time to grow up, became an adult. Very often you can come across a situation where a 2-3 year old boy becomes a super hero for his mother and constantly consoles her when she feels bad or she cries. This is socially approved, everyone around says what a good boy he is - his mother’s protector, his mother’s support and support. This is where the law of hierarchy is violated. Parentification occurs - the most serious in its consequences way of violating this law. In simple terms, the child becomes a mother for the mother. The experience of constellation work suggests that the child becomes a mother for the mother while still in the womb. He is doomed to be born an adult. Hellinger calls such love blind. The child thinks about his omnipotence, but it is actually limited. A child deprived of childhood gets stuck in it, remaining a child, believing in his omnipotence in saving his family. He is desperately trying to separate, grow up, etc. But even more desperately he saves his family, taking on a lot of other people's responsibility. There is not enough energy for your life and your projects. At the same time, it is difficult to build a relationship with a partner, because the partner, getting into the field of such a person, begins to give away his energy. Such relationships devastate him and therefore it is impossible to build long-term partnerships. https://www.b17.ru/article/129851/ What recipes for growing up can you offer?1. Realize the limitations of your omnipotence. Give up the feeling of self-importance and be able to withstand the feelings that arise. And this is very difficult, but possible.2. Restore the correct order in the system, i.e. become for your parents only a child and nothing more.3. Break children's contracts or vows. Once upon a time, a child swore an oath that he would save his elder, no matter what the cost. The termination of such a contract is prevented by a feeling of guilt formed in childhood, which in essence is a contract. 4. Give someone else's responsibility to the one to whom it really belongs. As long as a person believes in his omnipotence and saves his elders, he is doomed to remain a child. An adult realizes the limitations of his omnipotence and can admit it to himself. The child does not realize this, and if he does not cope, he considers himself bad. A feeling of guilt arises. An adult also experiences a feeling of guilt, but unlike a child, he can withstand this feeling and not be destroyed. The quality of decisions made increases significantly. An adult does not need someone else's responsibility; his own is enough for him. Instead of children's responsibility for elders, adults take responsibility for younger ones: for their children, for their projects, including business. I will answer any=52324