(for the webinar “Children’s whims and hysterics. How can parents survive?”) Very often you can see such a scene on a walk or in a store. Mom (at the beginning calmly, but if you listen, you will notice fatigue and doom in the phrase): “No, Sasha, I won’t buy you candy.” Child: “Buyiiiiii.” Mom, I want some candy!” Mom (there is tension and annoyance in her voice): “No. Stop screaming, I won’t buy you candy.” Child (louder): “Well, buy it!!! You promised!” Mom (obviously very angry): “I said no! So no! We’re going home and that’s it, no candy!” Child (pulls out his hand, sits down on the ground and with all his appearance shows that he won’t go anywhere further, and without candy nothing will happen at all). Mom (grabs the child’s hand, gives a resounding blow on the bottom, very angrily and quietly filtering something from the series “I got it,” cheeks are blazing, the child is screaming) They go home, or rather, she drags him by the hand or carries him under her arm. End of the scene. The scene is for the most part universal, although there are some subtypes. When the mother persuades for a very long time, and then agrees, when the child screams, but the mother still does not break down and does not hit, but drags her home. When my daughter was still very little and we were walking on the playground, I was always surprised that my parents They lose their temper so quickly. The son had already grown up by that time and the “sand problems” faded into the background. Complaints about whims and hysterics among mothers, who usually sit on the bench, are the most common. “Oh, I had such a scandal yesterday!” “And mine didn’t eat at all, I had to entertain her, and then I just forced her. As long as I eat candy, I won’t, I don’t want it.” When my daughter grew up, I again remembered what it was like to be faced with a different position, with the fact that once a little baby is no longer your other half, but a separate person. , demanding candy, protesting, sabotaging, disagreeing. And again, just like 7 years ago, when my eldest was growing up, I discovered how easy it is to “lose my temper,” especially when fatigue and sleepless nights accumulate one on one, like the ninth wave. Sometimes I managed to abstract myself from the situation and look at it from a specialist's point of view. And then a completely different picture opened up to me. I saw Mash, Nastya, Dimochek, Vanechek walking in the yard, who were in many ways (and if you believe geneticists, at least 50%) a reflection of their mother or father. I saw how parents really need help. Moreover, I saw how much I needed this help. Because every time I didn’t know how to cope with the next “surprise” of my growing children. And I chose this help, I turned to books and specialists, despite my profession. For, in my opinion, this is a natural component of the life of a person who asks questions about himself and his environment. Children always help us discover our vulnerability, but not everyone knows what to do with it later. I never (and still don’t bother) with recommendations and advice, but thanks to those “capricious” and “disobedient” children and those suffering, The parents, blaming themselves, came up with an idea. This idea is about what I can do. Continuing to conduct an appointment is very little and is not suitable for everyone. Not everyone has the opportunity to find a specialist; in many cities there are no psychologists at all, especially for children. None. But I write articles, go online, conduct webinars and translate for interested parents from the “psychological” language into Russian what I have studied for so long and a lot. This idea seemed very sensible to me. And useful. Because, I believe that thanks to my efforts, Mom and Sasha will be able to make peace! And learn to negotiate about candy. This means there will be one more happy family in the world. Sincerely, Anna.