You choose a psychologist for yourself, and it seems to you that you have already figured everything out, understood everything perfectly. Do you want to know how you really do it? Your criteria for an effective psychologist: Attractive person Helps you understand yourself Understanding Confident in your abilities, a confident specialist with a suitable education for you Helps you gain self-confidence Excellent criteria, only they are subjective and, according to experimental data, are not decisive in the effectiveness of psychotherapy. Or did you really want to get a sensitive and pleasant person to communicate with? specialist? Why not? Why, when you are so lonely and uncomfortable, when life is falling apart, and no one can understand you, come at least for an hour a week to a caring and sensitive “human psychologist”? And he will be your “mother” for this hour, “ dad”, whoever you want. It’s pleasant and comfortable for you to communicate with him in a soft chair with a pillow or on a sofa with a blanket, you can ask for tea or coffee. Where will you be greeted so warmly and comfortably? And the psychologist is the most sensitive of everyone you know. Only he correctly understands your feelings, experiences and suffering. How important it is, such a mirror reflection of your emotional experiences and emotions. You can enjoy sensitivity and understanding for an entire hour! Yes, you have problems with trust, and the psychologist is obliged to keep your secrets and you can safely trust him. You say something that you have never said to anyone and you hear an approving “uh-huh” and a nod of your head in response, because you are being empathically and actively listened to. You say terrible things about yourself and you are not evaluated or judged. You are relaxed, you trust and get a special buzz from it. But when longitudinal studies were conducted in Europe to prove the effectiveness of psychotherapy, your criteria turned out to be in the group of ineffective ones. They are not indicators of the effectiveness of a psychologist: Comfort in communication; Sensitivity of a psychologist, empathy; Feelings of trust that you understand Reflection of feelings The effectiveness of a psychologist does not depend on the direction, methods and techniques that he uses The effectiveness does not depend on the professional style of the psychologist These are the conclusions made by scientific research psychologists. Evidence is provided in monographs, scientific publications and has been discussed for decades at scientific conferences. I do not undertake to dispute proven scientific facts. Now your system of choice, focused on your own feelings, is still valid? Or do you have questions and want to clarify your selection criteria? In this article I will not answer these questions, since this is a separate topic that requires careful analysis. But, there are answers to these questions and any psychologist knows them, I hope so. First, try to answer the question: “For what purpose did you really come to a psychologist?” If your goal was initially “Improve your emotional state,” then Any psychologist, even not a very effective one, will help you. If your goal of visiting a psychologist was to “talk it out,” then any psychologist, even not a very effective one, will help you. If you are lonely and have no one to communicate with, but want warmth and support, then here too Any psychologist will help you. Or are these goals not enough for you and you have decided on something more? That is why it is important in the first sessions to clearly formulate the task of psychological work and answer the question: How will I understand that for me the work with a psychologist is completed? If you honestly don’t answer this question for yourself or don’t answer it at all, then how to understand why you came, for how long to work with a psychologist and how to determine how your goals in psychotherapy are achieved?