How does parenthood affect relationships? I will tell you about the side that is not at all visible behind the joy of planning or the birth of a baby. There is a myth that the birth of a child can improve relationships or bind a partner to you. Or giving birth is a good idea for him. In fact, the birth of a child is a real full-fledged crisis for the family. And a serious test of your relationship. All the problems and disagreements that were in them will double, if not triple. And new ones will also appear. Belonging to yourself and calmly satisfying your usual needs will not be easy at all. Life will change forever and irrevocably! ✨The child will demand all your resources immediately after birth, from each of the parents. You will have to live as if each of you has two or even three work shifts every day, with minimal or no rest. And in a resourceless, tired state, many of our not the best qualities appear. ✨Every crisis in the development of a child’s personality (there are several of them: at 1, at 3, at 7, 11, 15, 17) is also a crisis for the whole family. Parents find a sufficient number of disagreements on how to educate and how to care for child, different ways of interaction, different values, different views on overcoming crises. Here you need to be able to negotiate and remain on good terms, maintaining mutual respect. Which is not easy at all. ✨Moreover, their personal traumas “wake up” when the child enters the age at which it was difficult for the parent himself. There is a lot of tension. The partner has a different life experience, so you can encounter his misunderstanding and condemnation, which gives rise to conflicts, dissatisfaction and disappointment. ✨The lack of some vital skills in oneself or a partner is discovered and acutely felt. For example, a kindergarten teacher offended your child, and your wife was unable to discuss this with the teacher and protect her child. Or the husband does not have sufficient skill in providing material resources, because... the wife went on maternity leave, this moment will be especially strongly felt. Situations will be repeated, and internal tension will grow. This will also affect relationships, because... your partner may be perplexed and angry at you or you at him, or lose his temper because of his failure and fallen self-esteem. Things can get tense. Being a parent is one of the most magical and irreplaceable feelings and roles in the world! But it is also a lot of hard work for anyone. And this is a test even for a loving, strong couple. So it is better to master the role of a parent on a solid foundation of mutual understanding with a partner, in a relationship where each other is loved and appreciated. Individual and family psychologist Julia K. tel.: 89998519583 Subscribe to my channel in telegram: Healthy relationshipsThe following article may also be useful:What to do when your partner is immature