Being a truly alive person is not so easy. Alive... means to be spontaneous and unpredictable - but this is so inconvenient, we want to rely on you and be confident in your predictability, so that you act in accordance with the rules, otherwise I get lost, confused and irritated by people like you. and needs, trust them and follow them - ah-ah-ah, listen to me! Do what I want. And in general, your desires can be dangerous, painful for me and inappropriate in the situation. Confident, risky and brave - just not this! Be quieter and smaller and less noticeable - it makes me feel calmer. Take time to think and make a decision - no! No! No! I need it quickly! Right now!!! Should I wait for you? Don't slow down. Everything is worth it because of you. Being attentive and caring towards yourself is not permissible! Who will think about me then? I will feel unwanted, and I don’t like that. Oh, you are selfish! You must sacrifice yourself for my sake. Say NO and YES based on your own inner sensations and feelings, be stable in your position - but.. then I will not be able to force you - and this is sometimes the most common and only way how I can force you do what I need. Be honest with yourself and with others - this generally scares me, because it can be very different from what I would like to hear from you and think about you. Respect yourself and the other person - how smug you are! What is this... and I will have to respect you... and, God forbid, myself?!! I can list more... But I would like to say one more thing - being close to a living person is also not very easy. Such communication raises a lot of feelings that I so skillfully hide under the reliable pressure of “it should be like this.” It’s insulting and outrageous when someone else lives, and I just observe and carry out tasks. When I notice that the forces with which I hold myself back from life are much greater than the life itself in me. And sometimes it’s unbearable to face these feelings and sensations; you want to stop them immediately. I want to protect myself from them. And so the circle is closed. In general, it is difficult to survive and not die into a properly functioning machine, but we can try... For our own sake, for the sake of each other, for the sake of the possibility of human communication with living people. It's worth it)