I'm not a robot

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Privacy - Terms

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I'm not a robot

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Privacy - Terms

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"You're greedy!" - how often do we hear this teasing on the playground. And this once again emphasizes that children's greed is precisely a topic that is interesting to both children and their parents. Children begin to notice these qualities in each other, and parents often emphasize them as not the best. Some parents encounter this problem already when the child is 1.5-2 years old, but it becomes most acute around the age of three. So what happens to these sweet and kind kids who were previously ready to share their toys and play together? The fact is that the child begins to actively form his own self. He begins to understand his boundaries and realize that he has “property”. It turns out that there is “mine” and “someone else’s”! At this moment, he is surprised to discover that the toy, object, book, etc. belongs to him. And since you can’t take someone else’s without asking (parents do not forget to remind the child about this), then you can’t give away your own! This discovery makes the child greedy. By defending toys, the baby defends his boundaries, learns to protect himself and what belongs to him. The toy is like an extension of his personal territory. This is a very important period of development, which lays in the child the ability to defend his opinion, say “no,” defend his space, and resist manipulation. This will greatly help the child in the future to feel confident, protected, treat himself well and take care of himself. Working with adults, in my psychological consultations, I notice that these are the very qualities that many of them lack. Is it because the “greedy” period was emotionally suppressed? Is it because today’s adult failed to defend his personal space at the age of 3-4? In many cases, this turns out to be exactly the case! Little “greedy” people can alarm parents with the fear that their child will grow up to be selfish. But think about it, will the baby be happy to share if he is forced to do it? I think not! It is very important during this period to allow the child to decide for himself what he can give away for a while and what not. It is important to give the opportunity to be greedy without judging or scolding him, but on the contrary, emphasizing his right to dispose of his things. Of course, this does not mean that you need to calmly look at children's fights, screams and hysterics. Not at all! An adult, recognizing the child’s right to dispose of his toys, can show ways of interaction. For example, exchange can be a good way to “bloodlessly” solve the problem of greed. “Yes, this doll is yours and you don’t have to give it away, but it will be interesting to exchange toys for a while. Vasya gives you a car, and you let him play with a doll for a while. Then you will take your doll back.” If the baby refuses your offer, you should not insist and take the toy away; by doing this you emphasize his inability to protect himself. It is also possible that the baby will decide that he can only defend himself with aggression, screaming and hysterics. A good way out of this situation could be an offer to play together. You can start with the same phrase: “Yes, this doll is yours and you don’t have to give it away, but look, Vasya has a car and you could take your doll for a ride together in Vasya’s car. I think it would be an interesting game.” This period will not be very long if you give the baby the opportunity to get enough of his greed. “Greedy” will again turn into a kind child, ready to share and play with children. In conclusion, I want to share with you 14 rules of child ownership, found on the Internet: 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If it's in my hand, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. mine.4.If I had it recently, it's mine.5.If it's mine, it should never be yours.6.If I build something, all the parts are mine.7.If it looks exactly like- just like mine, it’s mine.8.If it seems to me that it’s mine, it’s mine.9.If it’s yours, but I stole it, it’s mine.10. Everything that is not nailed down is mine, everything that I can tear off is not nailed down.11. If I saw it first, it's mine.12. What

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