Quite often during therapy we come to the conclusion that the client is afraid to do something because of the fear of criticism or condemnation. The first thought that comes to his mind is what will people think? And most often there is a certainty that they will think badly, judge or criticize, and this causes fear and panic. This fear fetters and prevents you from following your desires and interests. I’ll tell you in more detail in the article whether you can cope with this. What is criticism and what happens to you when you try to meet the expectations of others. Imagine that you are the driver of a car, you got behind the wheel and drove along the intended route. On the way, your parents, friends, colleagues, and some of your old friends get into your car along the way. And now you are driving in a friendly group and everything would be fine, when suddenly your mother remembers that she needs to stop at a store on the way. Your husband begins to tell you that you are driving the car incorrectly, and your friends tell you which road is better to take, and everyone has their own option. Yes, and your friends got involved, maybe you should change the route altogether, come back and come up with a new one. You stopped with your mom at the store, argued with your husband about your driving skills, and spent half a day winding along the strange routes of your advisors. As a result, by the end of the route you realize that not only did you not get where you needed to go, but you also spent all your energy following the valuable instructions of your fellow travelers. You are upset, everyone is unhappy, the situation leaves much to be desired. And in the end, it’s not the advisers who are to blame, it’s you, the driver, you and the last one, there was no point in getting behind the wheel if you didn’t know where you were going. Next time you won't want to go anywhere. What can a driver do to get where he needs to go? Firstly, if you don’t know the road, you can use a navigator. You can take fellow travelers if you are on the road, but if not, they can get there on their own, all adults. Even if you are not traveling alone, you do not have to listen to all the advice, you have a navigator, stick to it. This way you will have every chance to successfully get where you need to go. This happens in life too, we are afraid of criticism from people who may not even know where we are going and how to do it. And if we try to please everyone, then the result is deplorable and you cannot be torn in all directions and one of the advisers will definitely remain dissatisfied. It is worth remembering that there is a navigator, and there is some constructive criticism here. If we want to learn how to do something, we go to a specialist in this topic, he will teach us at our request and these will be valuable comments for us that help us on our way. Is it possible to cope with this fear? Of course you can. How I work with this: first, we decide on the route where you want to go, what address you need to enter in the navigator (your values ​​and goals) do you have a navigator (your capabilities and confidence) how to prevent unnecessary travel companions (your boundaries) and how to focus on your navigator, and not on your fellow travelers, without falling into guilt and fear (your emotions and reactions). How is it going for you? Do you drive the car yourself or are they telling you where to go from the seat next to you? If you understand that you can’t cope, be sure to contact a specialist; it’s better to turn in your direction in time and figure out how to go, than not to get there at all.