"Insider! For everyone, it is truly their own. This person has no common features or qualities, since we are all different and are looking for someone to match ourselves, our needs, our character, etc. Today we are not talking about finding a marriage partner or a friend, but about people of certain professions whose services we use throughout our lives - these are doctors, teachers, hairdressers, nail technicians, car repairmen... Very often you hear: “Here I have there is a master, I have been going to her for many years. I recommend". But sometimes you come and realize that you are not yours. Yes, he’s a good specialist, but something’s not right. It’s this “something that’s not right” that pushes us to look further. I was looking for a doctor, my friends told me about theirs, I looked on websites, looked at photos, read reviews. Somewhere I was attracted by the photo, somewhere by the number of positive reviews. By the way, the number of positive reviews also does not always mean that this specialist will suit you. This is how I ended up with one, he caused rejection right out of the gate! In addition to qualifications, non-judgment in words, looks, and calmness are very important to me. I found such a doctor for myself, although for someone else he may seem indifferent, unemotional, and very calm. And why? In addition to the fact that we are looking for a specialist in our field, we are also looking for a person who would understand us perfectly, with whom we feel comfortable, comfortable, calm, who could satisfy (partially) our need (for some it is safe, some have acceptance, some have respect, some have admiration, etc. - they all have different unfulfilled needs). This is similar to when we are looking for “our” person to be a marriage or friendship partner. In relationships, we are looking for what we lacked in childhood from our parents, and what we lack now that we are adults. Through relationships with them, we try to fill something in ourselves, to close a hole (everyone has their own!), or to prevent the other from causing even more harm. And another interesting thing: you go to a hairdresser for years, everything was fine, and then he becomes, for example, unfriendly, gloomy, indifferent, this begins to alarm you. She always cut hair well, got it right, but today she didn’t get it right. It’s good if this happened once, and then everything returned to its place, and if it happened again once or twice. Our actions? We're going to look for someone else. Okay, if, for example, a person has retrained and started doing things differently, you can change or ask him to do it as before, but very often I hear from people: “It became uncomfortable,” “Something was wrong,” “I stopped satisfy”, “It used to be like this, but now it’s like this, I don’t like it.” That is, a person stopped fulfilling what he wanted, and found himself outside the gate. Any relationship is a search for compromises and voluntary acceptance of another person. And a person (no matter whether he is a spouse, a friend, or a specialist in some field) certainly should not satisfy all the needs of another. A specialist in his field of activity must only provide a high-quality service. It should not cover internal needs. And so that there are no offenses, slamming doors, you first need to learn to realize this. The main task of a person is to learn to fill the gap himself. Yes, he can do this through the same specialists, but he should not demand more than they can give him. Your psychologist Maria, 89183706153