From the author: First published here The group is dedicated to psychology and psychotherapy, join us, it will be interesting! )) Imagine, a Martian and an Australopithecus meet and try to communicate (communicate) with each other on some issue. The Australopithecus, using gestures, facial expressions and the like, and the Martian, using his own, strictly Martian ways of communication. What do you think are the chances of them understanding each other? What are the chances of understanding each other correctly? Standard course of events: both explain the text of their message for a long time, using the means of communication known to them and leave the partner to do the translation from Martian to Australopithecus or vice versa. Convinced of a misunderstanding, the parties part ways, feeling angry and irritated with each other and with the situation. This is what I encounter in consultations day after day, in almost every client work there is a topic of “translation difficulties”, and some are completely devoted to this topic . And this is not surprising, the quality of our life is directly related to our satisfaction with the quality of the contacts we have. Having mutual understanding in an environment that is meaningful to us, we feel accepted, understood, we feel safe. And vice versa, when deprived of this, we feel anxiety, despondency, perhaps even resentment or anger. Let's return to our Mrasian-Australopithecus couple. Yes, the example is, of course, fantastic, but not too much. After all, we don’t always choose partners based on similarity; naturally, two Martians will understand each other quickly enough. Often, opposites attract, based on the Theory of “Complementary Needs” by R. Winch. That is, people who are attracted to each other have dissimilar, different character traits, and, accordingly, have different methods of communication. What to do? Is the chasm of misunderstanding insurmountable? No, that's not true! )) To begin with, it would be nice to get to know yourself better, with your methods of communication, and through a simple analysis, figure out which of them “work” (give the desired result), and which do not work and, accordingly, need improvement. Further, when you have become a little clearer with yourself, you can slowly come to the understanding that he is different, that’s why he is different, that his methods of communication, methods of self-expression are different. And even such clear and understandable words as “love”, “freedom”, “happiness” are endowed with completely different meanings for him than for you. Yes, this happens. Often. Avoid the crushing: “If I were in his (her) place...” Would you - yes, because it's you. And another person, he is different in every sense, therefore his behavior and self-expression are different, and there are no options. And if for some reason it is difficult for you to accept this, then it is better to immediately move on to communicating with the mirror, the expected result will be guaranteed. If the stage of accepting and recognizing yourself as yourself, and the other as others, has successfully taken place, you can proceed directly to communication. And here, the task of both is to make every effort to study the vocabulary of the other: in the literal sense of the word, what does he mean by the word “love”? What does “happiness” look like in his mind? And there are many, many more words into which we put our own, at first glance, meanings that are not obvious. Task number two: explain yourself. Explain what these same words mean to you, what meanings you put into them. By the way, you can discuss not only the meaning of words, but also actions, gestures, facial expressions, certain forms of behavior, intonations - this is very welcome and promotes mutual understanding. Don’t expect to be understood by hours of silence, or by a nervous glance from under your eyebrow. Guaranteed they won't understand. Telepathy is a rare and optional talent, and in general, it has not yet been studied whether it is beneficial. So, if your partner does not have superpowers, talk, ask, communicate - this is the only working way that I know of to understand each other. Understand as correctly as possible. And now, when all the previous levels of this exciting quest,.