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Every person is designed in such a way that by nature he strives for pleasure and happiness. Although happiness is a rather subjective concept, it is basically defined as a person’s state, which corresponds to the greatest internal satisfaction with the conditions of his life, its meaningfulness and completeness, and the fulfillment of his personal purpose in the world. This state in a person directly depends on the traumatic events occurring, negative thoughts about the situation and oneself. Lack of happiness over a long period can lead to disorders such as depression, anxiety, insomnia, etc. In my article I want to list the reasons why a person cannot be happy and possible ways out. These reasons can be divided into physiological and psychological: Physiological processes in the human body. The feeling of happiness is associated with hormones such as serotonin, dopamine and endorphins. Serotonin, which is produced in the pineal gland of the brain, and dopamine create an internal background of happiness and contribute to long-term satisfaction. Endorphins influence the appearance of surges such as euphoria and joy. The production of these hormones is stimulated by foods such as dark chocolate, strawberries, bananas, beef, fish, eggs, and nuts. Also, any physical activity, including sex, helps maintain “happiness” hormones at the proper level. Disturbance in the production of these hubbub signals can be provoked by endocrine, viral and infectious diseases, therefore, in order to exclude the physiological cause of the lack of happiness, it is advisable to undergo a medical examination. Negative thoughts about what is happening. It has long been known that emotions on any event occurring in a person’s life are influenced not by the situation itself, but by attitude and thoughts about it. This theory was first put forward by cognitive psychotherapist Albert Ellis. Often it is impossible for people to control the situation, and it is also difficult to control the emotions that arise in response. All a person can control is his thoughts. By changing your thoughts to more positive ones, you can notice how your emotions and attitude towards current circumstances change. Shifting responsibility. Excessive demands on the environment and placing responsibility on it for happiness and well-being lead to the fact that under any unfavorable conditions for the development of the situation, the feeling of happiness disappears. For example, many people dream of a person next to them who can make them happy, for some it is a partner, a “soul mate,” as they like to say, for others the entire responsibility for happiness is shifted to the children, and then they go to work reproaches: “Yes, I put my whole life on you.” In such a situation, a person may begin to blame fate, the government, and loved ones for his situation. However, if you take responsibility for your personal happiness, then a lot can be changed right now. No one can make us happy except ourselves, and only by learning to be happy with ourselves can we be happy with someone. Self-flagellation. It happens that a person begins to blame only himself for all his troubles, remember his mistakes and, every time, scold himself for them. It is necessary to accept that the world is not ideal and neither are people. Every person can make mistakes, and mistakes, if learned from them, can be transformed into useful experiences. One of the presuppositions of NLP says: “There are no defeats, only feedback.” Even if something in life does not go the way you want, it does not mean that the person is a loser, and not that he is to blame for everything, but that it is simply necessary to change the direction and course of life in order to change for the better. Devaluation of your successes. Constantly comparing ourselves with other, more successful people, as it seems to us, entails a devaluation of our achievements and makes us more unhappy, since achievements do not bring a sense of satisfaction and the work done seems useless. Bestthe way to get happiness, in this context, is to compare yourself not with others, but with yourself, monitor your own achievements and praise yourself for them. Illusions. Many people think that they lack something to be happy, and that someday the moment of truth will come, when this happiness will come and THEN life will sparkle with new colors, from THAT moment life will become better, life will become more fun. For example, people say: - I’ll finish school/university and then I’ll live; - I’ll get married, and from that moment my problems will be solved; - I’ll go to live in another country, and then my life will be easier and more prosperous. This is all, of course, wonderful and important set goals in life, achieve them, find new ones. However, it often happens that when achieving a goal, a person is faced with disappointment, because the happiness from achieving this goal looked more voluminous and joyful. The whole point is that a person, in anticipation of happiness, lives in illusory ideas, divorced from reality, and, faced with this reality, he is disappointed. And the only way to cope with this disappointment is not to expect too much and learn to live in this reality, learn to be happy in the present moment. Living in the past or the future. The song also says “there is only a moment between the past and the future, it is called life.” The past has already passed, the future has not come, and all we have is the present. Someone lives with memories of their past happiness and regrets that they did not perceive it as such, as they say “what we have, we do not keep...”, someone lives with hope for a bright future and it’s good if this future is here on earth, and not in the next life. Therefore, it is necessary to learn to enjoy the little things in the present, which make up a happy life. Stop thinking about the end result and stealing the present from yourself. Fear of losing happiness. When a person has this fear, he lives in anticipation that happiness is about to end and cannot enjoy it to the fullest; it seems to him that hard times will come just a little bit longer and that if he allows himself to be happy, everything will may collapse in a moment. However, difficult times may not come, but you will definitely spoil your happiness. But if you look at it, happiness would not exist if it were not for this contrast; it is thanks to difficulties that happiness becomes possible and tangible. There is no internal permission for happiness. People who are accustomed to always being unhappy sometimes get some drive from suffering, and, as a rule, this is typical of those who grew up in dysfunctional families. Such a person simply did not have an example of a happy life and lived through a difficult childhood, and he internally formed a script that he invariably follows. Awareness of your family scenario can lead to the understanding that you don’t have to repeat the fate of your parents, because you can allow yourself to build a more fulfilling, happy life according to your own rules. Allow yourself to be happy right now. Unlived emotions. Often, the lack of happiness is associated with deeply traumatic events in the human psyche or the loss of a loved one, be it death or separation. It happens that the feeling of pain is so strong that a person does not have enough strength and resources to cope with it himself, as a result of which various types of defense mechanisms come into play, such as repression, replacement, rationalization, denial. If a person has not lived through all the stages of grief or has found himself in a situation that threatens his life, if he did not have outside support, if he was left alone at this moment, all this can lead to serious consequences for his psyche and health. In this case, psychological help is needed from a qualified specialist who will help cope with feelings and survive this difficult period. In fact, in the life of any person, no matter what country he lives in, there are many reasons for happiness, the main thing is not to lose sight of them. Learning to notice small joys every day, enjoying!

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