In long-term therapy, sooner or later there comes a moment when the portal to hell slams shut, internal demons stop ruling life, and the person is surprised to suddenly lose the ability to do all sorts of nonsense. It’s not easy to make mistakes, no - no one is immune from mistakes. Namely, to deliberately do such nonsense, make such choices, which will later make you feel bad. This happens with the development of internal awareness and sensitivity to one’s processes and, as a result, with increased responsibility for oneself, one’s self, one’s life. After all, what happened before? Somehow a man lived for himself, without really thinking about how. I just lived. He loved, he desired, he was sad, he suffered, he was sad, he was angry, he was happy. Did different things. He obeyed written and unwritten rules and habits, acted according to formed patterns, moved along well-trodden rails and programs set since childhood, without particularly questioning or analyzing his own attitudes, meanings and values. Unconsciously, in general, he lived. How it turns out, and how God puts it on your soul. It was about the same with actions and decisions - you could always excuse yourself that you were just unlucky, or shift the blame onto someone else, defend yourself with aggression, displace, devalue, get the victim's indulgence, justify, whatever, rationalize - in general, there were no options to face. there was a lot of inner self and the consequences of one’s own actions, for every taste. In psychology, in order to avoid toxic shame and guilt, it is customary to treat certain not very unpleasant actions from one’s past as something not very good, but inevitable and forcedly acceptable. There is even a well-known and quite working mantra - “You acted exactly as you could have acted then, and nothing else.” In therapy, such moments are considered, comprehended, sorted out, and become an important experience, with or without further conclusions, new solutions. Then, in the past, it was like this, we are no longer able to change it, but now we have the power to accept ourselves and fully master our experience, thereby becoming stronger. But what now, after some time in therapy, after fully getting to know yourself? Here, a man walks along the road of his own life. She walks beautifully, stepping carefully and consciously. Choosing directions and routes. Consulting with the internal compass and the map of one’s Self, trying not to violate the personal structure, not to harm oneself. After all, you get used to good things so quickly! And this new feeling of understanding oneself and friendship with oneself is priceless! And now it is becoming increasingly difficult to follow someone else’s desires and instructions instead of your own. Jump into passing cars and rush along well-trodden rails-scenarios without the ability to get off at any time. More and more often I want to feel that there is good inside. And also - to rule your own life. We are getting better and better at avoiding primitive defenses, without hiding behind the screens of repression and denial. And then suddenly the moment comes when there is an opportunity to step somewhere sideways, onto a slippery slope. To do something that a person already knows about - no, it’s not good, there’s no need to go there. After all, if you take a step, step to the side, you will already know for sure that you did it, chose it consciously. It was you who did it, and the answer is you. He cheated, deceived, took, hit, negotiated with his conscience. And even if it is just a step and immediately back, even if a person does not get carried away and does not slide down a slippery slope, but can quickly return to his route - how can he continue to live with this experience? How? Further? With this? Live? After all, you won’t be able to easily shake yourself off, return to the wide road, jump back onto the white horse, and rush in shining armor further into the bright future, as if nothing had happened. How? What then to do with this knowledge about yourself - when you could have done otherwise, saw the options, knew what was not good, what was not worth it - but still did it, did not choose something else? Such