From the author: When we react to any more or less significant reason with thoughts: “I won’t succeed,” “This is not for me,” “I’m not worthy,” and so on, it becomes problem. All these thoughts and resulting emotions and behavior are a manifestation of our “Inner Critic” subpersonality. I think that each of us is familiar with this nasty, reproaching, dissatisfied, sarcastic, ridiculing, boring, itching voice: “The Inner Critic.” The one who doubts, condemns, does not accept, provokes. He does everything to immobilize. And this is a dead end. And also, very often, we hear this voice from the outside. with whom we are friends, work and live. When we study, rejoice, share, invest positive intentions, are open and vulnerable, he does everything to immobilize and destroy the desire to do anything at all. And this is a dead end. How to discover that he lives in us. , how to recognize? Signs: Endless dissatisfaction with one’s appearance, behavior, character, even to the point of self-hatred. For example, women who went under the knife to a plastic surgeon to remake their body. Feelings of shame and embarrassment with or without reason. Prohibitions on one's own desires, pleasures and their fulfillment. Thus, we punish ourselves. Comparing ourselves with someone more successful in something, when someone somewhere is initially better than us in something, dependence on the opinions of others, emotional dependence. Perfectionism, the desire to do everything perfectly, or remake, finish, improve, modernize. Doubts - do I think, feel, wish, think correctly. Hence infantilism and helplessness, and ignorance of what I really want. What to do? What should I do? How to silence them? How to remove-destroy-silence these voices? No way. Let them talk. Let them argue. Let them look for balance and compromise. We need to let them talk freely. Give space. Give the opportunity to still be heard, even though it is unpleasant. Then an automatic search for a way out of the deadlock will be launched. The external critic and the internal critic must become friends. Reconciliation is possible between internal needs and the framework of the external world, which is full of other people and the voices of alien Critics. You just need to hear YOUR feelings, your needs and your desires. They never lie and always talk. It’s just that sometimes the Critic turns out to be louder. It is very important to learn to notice your successes and be able to enjoy them. For real. Learn to love yourself, increase your self-esteem, praise yourself, take care of yourself. Those. replace negativity and complaints with positivity and acceptance. And if something doesn’t work out, then it makes sense to seek professional help from a psychologist. Glad to be useful! Author: Olga Levko, psychologist02.09.2017